r/NoExcuses Oct 06 '16

I don't know what to do anymore

Sorry for my English You know that moment in life when you just ask yourself: What am I doing with my life. Right now I'm in that moment and all the thoughts that are going trough my head are ether suicidal or really mean thoughts about myself like what I've done with my life, what I haven't done that I should. I'm almost 20 years old and I never got laid, never had my first kiss, never got in a relationship with some one, I'm fat and ugly and even when my friends are making joke about me being with someone as a complete joke their reaction always complete disgust because of my physical appearance. Some of you might say: go and work out, be more confident in yourself but it's really not that easy to do it. I've try so many things so many time in different ways but always with the same results. I'm just so pissed at society, genetics and the most of all myself because of all the choices and things that I have done to me and to other people that are or was around me. I'm just so sad and lonely that I just don't give a shit anymore about me dying or not because I know that either that I die tomorrow or in 70 years I'll know that my life was just a complete waste and I'm just some ugly guy doing some useless shit. I just feel like an outcast in my own body and mind. Even if I'm doing what I wanted to do in life: learning and participating in the making of game/movie I just feel like an empty shell that no one wants and at this point I just thing that I just have to jump of a bridge to end all this I'm just to lazy to do it like I am for everything else in my life. I've had reality check by some people but in the end I'm just to lazy to do or I feel like I don't deserve it because of who I am and what I have not done with my life. I like three girls in my life and in the three cases I was to much of a pussy to say anything to them and it's just eating me from the inside and it making me go crazy because if feel that I can't accomplish any fucking thing with my life. And one thing that is a curse to me is one of the big trait that I have it's that I am a Jack of all trade. I can learn a shit load a thing really quickly but I can never focus on a few thing to get better at them and that personality is not just affecting the things that I can do it's also affecting the things that I love. I love a load of things and I want to do a shit load of things but I'm not able to finish any of them and that is pissing me off. So please if you can help me do, because I don't know what to do anymore with me and if you don't please help find someone that can because I am at my breaking point.

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u/denmarkian4 Oct 10 '16

I have been there myself, bud. I had the lowest confidence mankind had ever seen, because people bullied me for my physical appearance continuously. I had to get therapy. The only advice I can give, is to change your lifestyle. Go work out, just like other people advised you to. It's hard to start (I've been there), but if you're consistent about it, it will pay off in the end. It's the best decision I have ever made because it changed the way I look at life, and the way people look at me.

I'm no good at giving advice in these situations, but this is basically what I did.

You are only almost 20 years old, you have so much to live for. Be patient and greater things will come.

I hope you feel better soon, it actually hurts me knowing you feel this bad as a fellow hooman.

1

u/shinobi791 Dec 02 '16

You're only almost 20, that's still a young age. You still have a lot of time to accomplish the things you want to do, but you have to start real soon! You don't want to be in your 40s having regrets, wishing you had done the things you didn't do. Your current circumstance won't change unless you make an effort to change it. As far as confidence, just think of it like this, what's the worst that could happen? If you tell a girl you like her and she doesn't feel the same way, sure you'll feel like shit for a few days but you'll get over it. There's always a better girl out there. Don't try to think about girls too much for now anyways, you really need to work on yourself first, especially your mindset. When you get your mind right, you can accomplish anything. Try looking into meditation, it could help you out. Watch some motivational videos. Set small goals every day and try to accomplish them. Nobody can finish your battles for you. They can help, but you're the one who has to deliver the final blow.