r/Meditation • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Sharing / Insight 💡 Meditation is bringing up some big feelings that I can't handle
[deleted]
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u/entitysix 1d ago
Consider the alternative. Bottling up your emotions, never feeling them, letting them guide your daily life subtly, in the dark, without understanding how you feel or why.
Meditation didn't cause this feeling. It just allowed you to observe what was already there.
There is no option to remain a child. Once your understanding becomes greater, you cannot return to ignorance. This is natural. This is what the Christian Bible speaks of with the tasting of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.
The way to return to that comfortable place without fear and death, Eden, is to expand our understanding, understand that which we fear. Shine the light of wisdom and observation on all the dark places. Don't hide from what you fear, examine it and see that in truth, there is nothing there.
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u/ThrowRA-123456-moon 1d ago
If it makes you feel any better, my life is way more awesome now once I reached my thirties than it ever was in childhood.
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u/Loose-Farm-8669 1d ago
Just go easy. But I have a secret to tell you, when you meditate for long periods you actually start to feel like the person you were when you were a child but you get to take it with you as an adult throughout your day it's a very nostalgic nice feeling
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u/somanyquestions32 23h ago
That's a good point. The peace and calm and sorrowless joy of our true nature is accessible to us in meditation. That pure essence is the same that we took for granted in childhood.
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u/somanyquestions32 23h ago edited 20h ago
Suppression is never the answer (from experience, lol). These feelings are arising as messengers. Simply observe and acknowledge them, and reassure the parts of yourself that are scared that you will nurture them always and honor your childlike wonder and the aspects of you that feel unsafe or bogged down by adult responsibilities. Once you start meditating, stuffing all of that back down will cause fragmentation, which is unpleasant and detrimental. Begin the process of integration instead, and show the aspects of you that are terrified more and more kindness, benevolence, gentleness, and compassion. Adulthood can be even better than childhood, yet you have to be conscious and intentional about what choices you make for yourself. Use meditation as a way to get to know yourself more deeply and establish a new sense of inner trust.
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u/depressedpianoboy 21h ago
I'll be honest, your comment had a lot of new words for me and I had to do some googling! But you're right, suppression has never been good for me. I've always shoved big feelings aside and distracted myself with excessive schoolwork, drugs, doomscrolling, self harm, etc. Your comment was helpful for me because I realized I have to actually experience these unpleasant emotions and show compassion for myself so that I can feel better.
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u/somanyquestions32 19h ago
Lol, I have that habit. 😅🤣 Yeah, when we don't actively face challenging emotions and feelings, we engage in behaviors to numb and distract us that are not always serving us to move forward in life. Indeed, we need to show ourselves patience, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness as we explore what we deem unpleasant so that we can get more information about what we need to do next for our highest good.
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u/Extension-Layer9117 1d ago edited 1d ago
You're not alone in this. I also had a fear of meditation, as old, suppressed emotions would come to the surface. Emotions are meant to be felt. Suppressing them can lead to problems, often manifesting as strange psychosomatic symptoms that doctors may struggle to diagnose or treat, as was the case for me.
At first, I’d sit down to meditate only to find myself standing by the refrigerator, unsure of how I got there. It’s challenging, but once you push past it, you’ll be thankful you did. Fear of learning is a normal reaction, and as Carlos Castaneda put it, fear is the first enemy of the man of knowledge.
When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize, for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning.
He slowly begins to learn—bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.
And thus he has tumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: Fear! A terrible enemy—treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest.
"What will happen to the man if he runs away in fear?"
"Nothing happens to him except that he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings."
"And what can he do to overcome fear?"
"The answer is very simple. He must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it, he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task."
"When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy."
"Does it happen at once, don Juan, or little by little?"
"It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast."
"But won't the man be afraid again if something new happens to him?"
"No. Once a man has vanquished fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because, instead of fear, he has acquired clarity—a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate the new steps of learning, and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed." Carlos Castaneda - The teachings of Don Huan
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u/EnlightenmentCoach 1d ago
Meditation allows unconsciousness to arising . It's best we don't make up stories as to what or how they come about. Just accept that they're there and allow them yo pass through without commenting on them.
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u/b_and_g 21h ago
Take it slow, it can definitely get scary sometimes. Although you should know that it will keep coming up until you let it go. Whenever it comes up see it as an opportunity to grow. You don't have to do it perfectly every time, but if you do the best you can the feeling will slowly fade away
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u/sharpfork 21h ago
The older I get the more I realize we are all still little kids inside.
Sometimes meditation can bring up hard stuff that can be good to work through. That is often called shadow work.
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u/MyCircleRetreats 21h ago
Here's something I've learned about fear, when embraced, it opens up a new window per se. A window to see yourself in a whole new light, the courage to do more brave things, and the freedom to feel uninhibited.
You should ask yourself, what about my childhood do I miss and why does this feel important me? Also ask yourself is "the feeling of being taken seriously" for me or for them? Then follow up with why?
There will be days when emotions get too big, and you may feel ill-equipped to handle them - that's OK. Remember, you're doing this for you and your wellness.
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u/hoops4so 12h ago
I’d highly recommend looking at Focusing by Eugene Gendlin. It’s a step by step meditation made by a therapist that’s incredible for self-therapy stuff on emotions!
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u/aegidiosbreathe 1d ago
"A real adult" would not say that, what you are going through is a difficult but normal phase and it gets better from there. Leaving childhood and becoming an adult is a pretty big deal, since it means to become capable of being in charge of one's life, of dealing with stuff and of comforting self and others. That's why there used to be initiation rites in the old times - it is a big deal, a metamorphosis of sorts. But it is also a time of great joy since there is new freedom, new capabilities and exploration. Is it strange if you go back and forth for a time between these feelings of excitement and fear - isn't that to be expected when someone is dealing with so much change?
Through this, you will become stronger and learn to trust yourself a great deal and you will become someone others learn to trust too. But what you are saying about easing off a little when meditation is bringing up too much too fast is very wise. It is good to learn to withstand a little discomfort because we can't grow otherwise and we don't build our courage and self-confidence, so suppression is not good. But it is never good to force anything, so don't push yourself further and faster than you feel you can handle, be gentle with yourself. If you listen to yourself, you will find the right pace and it sound like you are.
When uncertain, if you ever get uncertain, it can be helpful to ask yourself what you would tell someone you cared a great deal about to do if they were in your situation, what would you say to them?
In a not very distant future, you will look back and marvel at how you have grown.
All the best