r/BoomersBeingFools • u/FriskwaslostT-T • 19h ago
Orthodox Indian Grandparents, and the issues that come with it- PART 1
Let's get a few things straight first- I'm 16F and an Indian, and I'm a closeted Bi- maybe Pan, but I don't really know. This is also a bit of a vent, but it fits the subreddit and is still a set bunch of 'Boomers being Fools' story- so I decided to keep it here. And I should probably keep this in parts, so that it doesn't get too long.
My grandparents (paternal side , have 4 matters where they're orthodox opinions- the matters of Jobs/Career choosing, being Feminine, Mental Illnesses and Marriage- all of which, might be a bit more of an issue than I had assumed it was before.
Don't get me wrong- I love my grandparents, and they're good people too- it's just that they're too overbearing, and are still a bit stuck in the older times.
My first issue- Jobs. I've always had a passion for the natural world and life when I was younger, so when I was young, I heavily aspired to be a veterinarian, or in some field where I dealt with Biology, organs and the natural world. Being a veterinarian- vet for short, was a childhood dream of mine. But both of my grandmothers- maternal and paternal were against it, saying "I'd have to work in dingy, dark farms", or "Are you sure you wanna take that field?", discouraging my dream early on around the age of six to seven, even if that sector of veterinary practice was not where I wanted to go..
It got so bad, that my paternal grandmother somehow talked me into trying to take up UPSC and become an IAS officer. And for some statistics- about 1.3 Million students write that exam yearly, and out of that- only 180 people get selected. Competition is high, stress is higher- and while it would be a pride to serve my nation, I wasn't even remotely interested.
When I declared I wanted to enter the science field, I had to say "I plan on writing the NEET exam", which is the "National Eligibility cum Entrance Test" to enter colleges of Medicine- every old person (+60) who I meet just says- "Oh, so you wanna be a doctor?" And assumptions can't be helped- but it's just bad when my grandparents either ask "Planning on doing UPSC exams?", or "What field in Medicine? Surgery, Radiology, Neurology, Cardiology," and so on.
Why the hell are they this narrow-minded? I get it, they're old as hell- they're from a time in India where there was only 2 career options- Engineer, Doctor and CA (Charter Accountant) depending on the exam you write, but goddamn- why are they this damn narrow minded?
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Second issue- being Feminine. Personally, I enjoy loose shirts and jeans more than skirts, frocks, lehengas (traditional south-Indian clothing) and so on. Not that they aren't pretty- in fact, quite the opposite.. I feel like a fucking princess in Indian traditional clothing. If you ever wanna feel like a princess, try out a fancy lehenga or saree and watch as you glimmer. A girl in a beautiful, vibrant dress dazzled in gold from head to toe just sounds like a golden dream.
It's just that- some pieces are so fucking uncomfortable. If there's improper embroidery of stones, mirrors or beads at the sleeves or the blouse, you'll feel it rubbing against your skin when you're wearing it for the first few hours. If there's an uncomfortable mesh for the 'skirt' part of it beneath, it literally itches against the legs. And if the mesh used, or the material of the dress was uncomfortable- I'm literally getting goosebumps thinking about it, and my whole body just shivered.
When I was young, I complained alot about these traits- and my mother listened to them, luckily. She'd ask me to wear it a bit longer for the sake of appearance and as a reward, she'd cook my favorite food, or take me out for a walk- things that I liked.
So despite a very, very bad distaste for uncomfortable Indian clothing, I learnt to bear with it for the sake of looks and my mom. And if I ever came across a traditional dress that looked amazing and also felt as comfortable as sleeping on a cloud- I was booked and would always ask to wear it.
Only issue is- my grandparents had a knack for getting me too many girly, expensive things.. And, if you're an Indian- you'd know never to wear the same dress to another event, cause people will recognize it and call you out on it- which might be just toxic or rude, but is frequent in society.
Issue stems when my grandparents buy you dress after dress worth $100 which are uncomfortable, too flashy for your tastes- and it's a dress you're gonna wear only once, cause if you wear it again- everyone's gonna know you're repeating a dress and is gonna call you out on it. I literally have like- 25 skirts in my wardrobe, and 15 pieces of traditional clothing, that are hella flashy, hella expensive and that I don't even use, and I don't even like. What am I supposed to do with it?? Either stop buying me dresses at all, try to buy something that's comfortable or one that I'd at least like- or reduce your spending on clothes that will be used only once.
And whenever I dress a bit more like a guy- with jeans, shirts, t-shirts- there will be a question raised almost every month - "Why don't you wear those frocks and dress like a girl?"
Yeah, thanks for ruining dresses for me, grandma.
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