r/BoomersBeingFools 1d ago

I'm still hurting from this one: MIL got me a plaque that says "Apparently, my rock bottom has a basement." FOR Xmas, I struggle with addiction.

Hello, currently on a 2 year upswing with my struggles with drinking. Not sober, but night and day from where I was at my darkest, my "rock bottom" 2-ish years ago when on a trail separation from my wife.

MIL gifts me a plaque with "Apparently, my rock bottom has a basement." on it. It was surreal and awkward, I could not believe it.

She swears she had no idea it would be hurtful, she just thought it was funny.

The holidays are a huge trigger for me, and while I'm pleased to say I didn't over do it Xmas eve (when I opened the gift) or touch the stuff during the day on Xmas, I did over do it last night after excusing myself to go to bed early asking them to be gone before I woke up today.

She's texting swearing she didn't know what it meant, but even if she's not overly familiar with the phrase, she still knows what the words mean and still gave it to me when I'm feeling and doing the best I have in years...

Edit, just a few things to clarify: I tried to not let it impact our holiday and did not bring it up after my initial reaction and my wife and I explaining why that's not an appropriate gift for me/anyone. When I decided that I needed my space last night, I calmly let them know I'm still struggling with the gift, I understand it wasn't intentionally hurtful, but anyway I look at it, it was thoughtless and disrespectful. I asked them to please pack up and leave first thing in the morning, did not kick them out on Xmas, just that they leave a little earlier than planned. Also did not plan on drinking last night, but once everyone is asleep and I have the opportunity and a good excuse, well.. anyone who has struggled with addiction knows how easy it is to lie to yourself that you're going to just have one more drink then go back to bed.

1.1k Upvotes

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617

u/NJ-DeathProof 1d ago

Send her some pamphlets for an old age home. "I just thought it was funny!"

364

u/thatgraygal 1d ago

Or send her a huge box of incontinence undies (unwrapped/boxed) with a note saying ‘Glad we could have a little laugh together. Hoping these help you get your shit together’. Send it by DoorDash or Instacart and require signature to really step up the embarrassment.

106

u/Proper_Career_6771 1d ago

Send it by DoorDash or Instacart and require signature to really step up the embarrassment.

Include cheap wine for this. And maybe some sugar free chocolate. And laxatives.

All you need is their name and birthdate to place the order, and it will have to match their ID on delivery.

49

u/Passiveresistance 1d ago

And Sugar free haribo gummy bears!

34

u/phunkyunkle 22h ago

Whoa there, Satan!

9

u/thatgraygal 19h ago

Maybe go all out and include some hemorrhoid cream, wipes, sterile gloves and poo-pourri 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/moonsnake6 18h ago

⭐️⭐️⭐️

16

u/Lazy-Quantity5760 Millennial 1d ago

Oh yes please

6

u/1meganbyte 1d ago

I love this pettiness!

7

u/DVGower 1d ago

A funeral home. HILARIOUS!

3

u/FleeshaLoo 1d ago

Bwahahaha. I like the way you think.

1

u/AppointmentHot8069 Millennial 9h ago

Nah, send brochures for funeral homes. 💀

617

u/schleppylundo 1d ago

Buying self-deprecating stuff for one’s self is one thing, but buying that shit as a gift for another is wild.

177

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

100% the only circumstance I could see that being an appropriate gift would be if the person just had some wild luck like just won the lottery. Any other case would not be OK.

84

u/Lazy-Quantity5760 Millennial 1d ago

OP, I’m proud of you no matter what. That sign is only funny for the person who buys it for themself. Why anyone would, I’m not sure, like we even need the reminding.. This is def a boomer problem but overlaps with just being a complete asshole. Your mil is dual diagnosed!

11

u/Weekly-Afternoon-395 1d ago

Get her a big bag of those sugar free gummy bears. Have you seen the Amazon reviews? People stay tied to the toilet for hours.

4

u/muststayawaketonod 17h ago

I remember laughing at those reviews until I had tears in my eyes.

2

u/whiterac00n 7h ago

You know I don’t think I ever had a bad relationship with my ex’s parents (single dad, and remarried mom) but there was a fair amount of judgment. What was crazy was almost every holiday after the first year I would get sick up there. Like I question to myself if I’ve been poisoned, although 2 years everyone got sick a day after me. But it was just framed as “he doesn’t want to spend time with us” . Even though we could come up in the summer and everything would be great (so I don’t think it was the parents poisoning me or the oldest brother because he was awesome too). BUT what I’m getting at is that people make up their minds about you and it’s really hard to shake it off. People think you’re a loser, or you’re anti family.

That family drank like fish and I can hold my own but when you’re shitting and puking every 45 minutes while shaking it’s hard to “be a part of the festivities”

1

u/Cat__03 Millennial 1h ago

Which is exactly what I'm thinking rn. Good luck to you, OP. Keep fighting the good fight, it's only a matter of time until you succeed. Many well wishes from Portugal :)

5

u/moonsnake6 18h ago

Yeah, like I would totally buy that for myself and laugh, but it’s judgy coming from most anyone else (we better be thick as thieves if you’re giving me that as a gift, and been through ALL the hard shit together).

245

u/Gypsies_Tramps_Steve 1d ago

I’ve seen some framed prints that say stuff like this, and I would 100% buy some for my office.

Never in a month of blue mooned fucking Sundays would I presume to buy it for someone else, let alone a recovering addict.

Jeeeeeeeeeeesus rollerblading Christ.

39

u/Lazy-Quantity5760 Millennial 1d ago

Rollerblading is a new one and I’m stealing it

27

u/colorcreatrix 1d ago

As a Christmas gift, to the one who was hosting them during that time. I hope the rest of the family will triple check any more gift choices from them after this fiasco!

114

u/AP_Cicada Gen X 1d ago

I love the "I didn't know what it meant"...then why did you gift it? Lol my MIL (silent gen) does this and it can lead to some wildly inappropriate miscommunication.

90

u/1meganbyte 1d ago

I don’t buy that she didn’t know what it meant. Sounds like she first said that she thought it was funny and after she realized how deeply she hurt OP, she tried backpedaling. Typical boomer. Instead of taking accountability and actually trying to make things right, just keep throwing excuses against the wall to see what sticks.

11

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 23h ago

And would she give it to anyone else she knows, or just OP? If just OP, that shows she recognizes he’s gone through a difficult time and had struggles. What’s not to understand?

142

u/Sea_Midnight1411 1d ago

Hang on in there OP. Remember that setbacks don’t need to take away all the good progress you’ve made. Put MIL on a communication timeout for your own sake, then focus on you and your self care. Go on a spa day, go for a walk, see some friends- the good stuff in your life.

87

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

Damn right! The friends are being super supportive right now, and luckily MIL got my wife and I a massage gift card just in time I need some self care.

35

u/RuskiesInTheWarRoom 1d ago

Accept apologies, dismiss excuses.

Friend, I hope you are doing well today, and tomorrow and the day after, and keep your head up. Protect yourself. Your partner was in your side- that’s great- you aren’t alone. And even if they didn’t, you still aren’t alone. Many of us here support you. Take the space you need.

14

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

This is the way, thank you!

71

u/Amterc182 1d ago

I had a really toxic middle manager once. Let's call her Lavender. The boss loved her - to an unhealthy degree considering she was in her early 20s and he was in his 50s. Lavender could do no wrong and every absence, every mess up, every employee who left because of her BS was never her fault.

I was old enough to play fake nice with her and slid under the radar. Not Guy. For some reason, Lavender had decided to undertake a one woman crusade to make Guy's work life hell. Her campaign led up to the final blow. She drew Guy in our Secret Santa exchange. I think she probably rigged it to happen. Then proceeded to give him a calendar with pictures of feces, titled 'Same sh*t, different day.'

I'll never forget the look on his face when he opened it. I knew he was going to quit after that, which he did. Sometimes, you know when it's personal.

48

u/neurodeehoomanitee 1d ago

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a little over a year and half sober and the holidays are so hard. I had to repeatedly remind my family, who know I’m sober, that I don’t drink as they offered me alcohol. A relative continually asked me to pick up various alcoholic beverages for Xmas eve. I got a little impatient and snapped at a few people reminding them I don’t drink alcohol.

Addition: guess who pushed the alcohol… that’s right, the boomers.

23

u/TerrorNTandom 1d ago

The only time my mother’s laugh is genuine is when she’s hurting someone else. Some people just can’t feel joy any other way, I think. Glad I don’t get it and never will.

7

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 23h ago

A lot of boomers are like that. Always complaining, too. Deriving the most joy from misery. What an awful way to live.

17

u/Particular_Shock_554 1d ago

My mum got me a tote bag that says "Forget avo on toast, I can't afford the bread."

I live in their garden because disability isn't enough to rent anywhere.

Why are they like this?

Fuck 'em. Giving you that plaque in front of an audience says far more about her than it ever could about you. She would have had multiple opportunities to sit and think about what she was doing. If she was sober when she purchased it and wrapped it, then she's cruel. If she wasn't sober when she purchased, wrapped, and watched you unwrap it, then she's a messy hypocrite.

You'll get there. I don't think I know anyone who succeeded in getting sober on their first attempt. I haven't had a drink in 9.5 years, but I'd been trying and failing to quit for a long time before that.

15

u/RamonaQ-JunieB 1d ago

I’m sorry.

16

u/Soft-Construction-79 1d ago

Throw that shit in the trash... they try to mask being ignorant AF as being "funny" or "joking"... fuck that.

14

u/thatgraygal 1d ago

What a POS! She knew. But let’s assume she didn’t. What good cheer did she find in something so negative. I’m so sorry you had that experience. Don’t allow it to thwart your progress. Every journey is made in steps. Keep pushing. Count success in days, hours, or even minutes. You can do it! I’m rooting for you.

12

u/KombuchaBot 1d ago

She's a liar, she knows what she was saying. She just thinks your struggles are funny. 

Some people have a zero sum attitude to humour and happiness, they need to see others down to know they are up. These people are trash.

12

u/Tagsix 1d ago

Regift it back to her next year. 

23

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

lol. Went in the trash that night.

4

u/KnittressKnits 18h ago

Sounds like it landed right where it belongs. If she ever brings it up again, it would be tempting to say, “at least my rock bottom stops at the basement. The rock bottom of your cruelty and lack of empathy seems to have no limit.”

12

u/SnooLobsters836 1d ago

Next year get her an urn.

5

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 23h ago

“What? Unlike the plaque you got me, at least this is useful.”

1

u/skulltrain 11h ago

I got one better keep your last empty bottle and have it engraved with her name and birthdate, then explain when she dies you'll engrave the death date on it and put her ashes in it.

10

u/_GimmeSushi_ 1d ago

Seems like a spiteful commentary on how you're not good enough for her daughter. Now she's trying to play dumb or like it was all in good fun. Gross. I would honestly never host them again.

20

u/sinking-fast 1d ago

I had an extraordinarily bad Christmas with a former MIL years ago. The realization that someone who is supposed to care about you has the balls to stand in your own home and wish you the worst is absolutely soul crushing. I’m so sorry this happened, especially at Christmas.

MIL is either a passive aggressive bitch or dumber than a bag of dirt. You were already struggling with addiction, holidays are a flashpoint, and any adult with two brain cells to rub together would know this. I’m betting she did it on purpose and didn’t think she would get called out for it. Kudos to you for being able to walk away from her and not lash out.

Very firm boundaries are in order, op. MIL has shown who she is and you should believe her. She should no longer be welcome in your home nor have any contact with you. Fuck that crusty bitch. Addiction means you’re fighting for your life. She’s there to throw you an anvil instead of a life preserver. Her claiming ignorance isn’t an excuse to let her back in your life. If she tries that route explain that it will just be a matter of time until she does something ignorant again.

I hope you have a therapist you can work through this with because it’s a fucking blow. That said, MIL (aka malignant harpy) is not worth destroying your progress over. Would be a good idea to get all the booze out of the house. Wishing you all good things. ❤️

13

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

Yes! Great call. Wife is hiding the hard stuff while I pick up pizza for dinner

-8

u/CDJMC 19h ago

Well don’t worry it’s still there somewhere! You can find it once everyone’s asleep. 

1

u/AppointmentHot8069 Millennial 8h ago

Get fucked. This is NOT how to support someone who's trying to be sober, and struggling with it.

8

u/StarintheShadows 1d ago

If your home has an actual basement you should get a sign that says “MIL Suite” and hang it up down there. If she’s ever allowed to stay the night again she gets to sleep in the MIL Suite on an air mattress!

3

u/Gromlin87 23h ago

Put it on the door to the basement so everyone can see it all the time. Let the contempt be clear and obvious to all.

6

u/Over-Marionberry-686 1d ago

So I’m petty. I would get one in return that says my basement is occupied by my mother-in-law. And then I’d give it to her

6

u/yummie4mytummie 1d ago

That’s wild. As if she didn’t know. I just wanna say we all support you.

5

u/yummie4mytummie 1d ago

Also keep the sign for when she moves to a retirement home and put it above her bed.

1

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 23h ago

Underrated comment right here.

39

u/911derbread 1d ago

People are selfish idiots, boomers moreso. It doesn't sound like it was malicious, just stupid. For some perspective, I didn't have anyone to give me a present this year. I hope you're able to find peace and move on from this.

37

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

Agreed. Not malicious, but so thoughtless. I hear you that in the scope of things, it's small potatoes. I will forgive and forget, just still reeling from it.

10

u/snuffdrgn808 1d ago

dont let it get you so down, instead of feeling bad just take it as finding out a really important piece of info. now you know your MIL is toxic and you can take that info and respond accordingly from now on. Which is distance, be polite only and keep away.

7

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

I already new she was toxic, I just thought it was all centered on her daughter, my wife lol

17

u/neighborsdogpoops 1d ago

What a cunt.

22

u/pfmacdonald 1d ago

With you 100% and I don't buy any excuses about how your MIL had no idea what that plaque meant. Of course she did. She was putting her contempt for you personally on full display. She despises you and chose this opportunity to let you know. And now you do know and knowledge is power my friend. It took me 15 years to get to grips with my own alcoholism. I could go years without touching it. I still had to endure those supposedly humorous birthday and Christmas cards depicting drunks with red noses from "certain quarters". Every single one hurt. The only way to silence these people once and for all is to live your very best life. Bank the knowledge and deal with the hurt but don't self destruct.

12

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

Thank you! And I feel you!

7

u/pfmacdonald 1d ago

They know what they are doing.

5

u/emeraldead 1d ago

Hugs, OP that was not ok or loving. I'm so sorry and glad you posted to get support and feel heard.

6

u/TheBlonde1_2 1d ago

Hey, OP. Your user name suggests a strength you clearly have. You can and will move past this. There are rocks on every road, and you’ve shown you can navigate around yours.

Well done, you.

6

u/cescasjay 1d ago

After my mother died, I developed an addiction to alcohol. I struggled really badly for several years. While I never quit drinking, I am finally to the point where I can have just one. I can go months without a drink. I hope the struggle gets easier for you, and I'm sorry that your MIL is so out of touch with reality.

5

u/DVWhat 1d ago edited 11h ago

I’m really sorry you had that experience with your MIL, OP. She sounds wretched.

Your post reminded me of an incident with one of my sisters a few years ago, shortly before my younger brother died of alcohol-induced liver failure. I went NC with her due to a rash of horrible and traumatic experiences she caused (completely unrelated to below), but I still feel guilty at having decided to do that (especially around the holidays), but being reminded of even the mildest of her BS reinforces for me that she is truly the meanest person I know.

My brother drank heavily for most of his life, and it resulted in him losing everything; control of his life, lost his job and career, friends, abandoned his wife and daughter, and got into some DV related legal trouble. His drinking made his life an absolute disaster overall. At the start of that spiral he had a thorough medical work up and the doctor informed him that if he didn’t stop drinking entirely, he’d be dead in 6 years, and those 6 years were going to suck the whole time.

By the middle of year 5, and never having been able to beat the addiction, my brother was at a point where imminent death was a certainty. My sister is a nurse, and knew better than anyone in the family exactly what his prognosis was, and had clearly laid out early in his decline her belief that he was “beyond saving”. He had a birthday 3 months before he passed. While I was meeting with my sister around that time regarding a separate family matter, she told me (laughing as if telling a funny story) that she went out and bought a birthday card to send him, claiming she didn’t bother reading it before getting to the post office, and only then realized it said “Happy Birthday, you party animal!” and acknowledged it as inappropriate to the circumstances. Then she laughed as she said she mailed it anyway.

All of that feels like a TMI approach to comment on your post, OP, but my point is that it is at such times that people like your MIL, even if for a few moments, reveal who they really are at their core; they have a narcissistic self-righteous mindset that is primarily sustained by a mental system of categorizing others as lower on some abstract scale of righteousness, and reinforcing their own sense of superiority- moral or otherwise.

Maybe there is some backstory through which your MIL holds a grudge for herself or her daughter by-proxy, and she can’t let it go, and the progress you’ve made to better your circumstance challenges the categorical designation she has for you on her inferiority scale. As such, the more you progress on your journey, the crueler will be her actions to ensure you “remember your place”. It is important to her to believe that she is a better person than you.

But in the end, people like that will not support your growth, will not applaud your achievements, and will not acknowledge or own the ways they are shitty to you along the way. But I guaran-fucking-tee you they’ll be first in line to shout “I told you so” for any stumble you encounter on your journey.

I hope good things for you. I hope your journey brings you more wholeness and healing. And please know that those who present themselves as intentional obstructions to your growth, and who choose to kick you while you’re down, can thoroughly go fuck themselves. Amen.

You got this.

Edit-clarification

5

u/DVGower 1d ago

She knew EXACTLY what it meant. She is a cunt. You acted incredibly self contained during this ordeal. I am so sorry this triggered your addiction.

4

u/ewazer 1d ago

Fuuuuuuck her! Why is it so hard for someone to think of things from another's perspective?

4

u/Festivus_Baby 1d ago

I used to think Wife 1.0’s parents were bad enough, but your MIL has them beat by a mile. At best, she’s cluelessly hurtful; at worst, she’s viciously mean-spirited.

I could not conceive of giving such a thing to anyone else… ESPECIALLY one struggling with addiction. I can’t even imagine who would produce and sell such a plaque. That your MIL bought it for you is disheartening to read.

I have not had a drink in over 11 years (and had a 5-year sober period before that). I quit smoking cold turkey in my late 20s. This year, I gave up energy drinks. My one remaining battle is my weight… and that’s moving in the right direction.

Keep the faith. You can do this. I hope your wife has your back, especially now. A new year is coming; I hope it will be terrific for you. Good luck.

4

u/DescriptiveFlashback 1d ago

She’s not pleased the divorce didn’t happen, if I had to guess.

3

u/Morticias-Sister 1d ago

I would have thrown it in the trash right in front of her. How rude. I'm so sorry.

5

u/0ddj0b05918 13h ago

Give her an urn for her ashes and tell her we are waiting. That's pretty funny. Keep it up working to heal. From a fellow addict, you got this!

4

u/SadieSchatzie 12h ago

OP It was hateful. Whether or not the MIL acknowledges, it was hateful.

Now is the time to focus on your sobriety, your health, and your support.

Respectfully, I encourage you to get really well-versed in gray rocking, setting boundaries, adjusting expectations, and basically proverbially Ice floeing hate mongers.

Life is short. Keep growing, keep doing the work. You areseen. You are not alone. Sending strength.

8

u/MedicinalWalnuts 1d ago

Whenever I face stupidity like this, I tend to face it head-on.

For example, I would have looked your MIL in the eye and asked: "Please explain. What could possibly be funny about this? What is funny about addiction and recovery? Considering it's impact on your daughter and me, I would think you would be more sensitive about it."

No, that's not too harsh. You need to call her out for being an AH at the very moment it happens. By doing that, you force her to see the impact of her "joke" and take control of the situation. Hopefully, it would also keep you in a good headspace and prevent the relapse that occurred after everyone went to bed.

3

u/Blonde_Mexican 1d ago

Wow. I’d regift it to her next year.

3

u/Michael-Hundt 1d ago

You should get a plaque made that says: Ungodliness is my specialty.

3

u/Ok-Establishment7915 11h ago

Sign her up for “home healthcare products”, that’s funny too.

5

u/Xifihas Millennial 1d ago

I suggest you bludgeon your MIL with the plaque.

5

u/Expert_Scarcity4139 1d ago

I’m proud of you for not losing it totally and for staying sober. Totally inappropriate. One thing if you had bought it for yourself or your bestie had bought it as a joke but from a family member at Christmas I would have been devastated as someone who has 6 1/2 years sober myself. Just my opinion. And sending you a hug

6

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

thank you!

2

u/petal713 1d ago

She knew it would be hurtful. What an awful human being. Time to go NC.

2

u/unknown_sturg 1d ago

I lost my brother to alcoholism. I miss him every day. I’m glad you are still here, so very glad. Keep pushing, and setting boundaries. Don’t give up!

2

u/-AnomalousMaterials- Millennial 1d ago

Sounds like a gift from a person with a cluster B.

A more appropriate gift would have been ...oops I forgot... instead of this.

2

u/SadSack4573 1d ago

Kicking any addition is hard and MIL is as dense as a hard rock ! Buy a book about on polite manners or a plaque that says open mouth insert foot

2

u/sacredblasphemies Gen X 1d ago

Wow... I'm so sorry that happened. That's pretty shitty of her.

2

u/lostinlactation 23h ago

God boomers suck. Stay strong hun

2

u/celtykins 17h ago

That's extremely cruel. I'm so sorry.

2

u/TheGaleStorm 15h ago

Self deprecation is for the self to decide. This is just bullshit. The other day I told my siblings that I was extremely childish. it was because I was referring to somebody else being childish and I said I should know that’s coming somebody who is completely fucking childish. Me. However, I don’t want anyone putting it on a plaque and giving it to me.

2

u/Diogekneesbees 13h ago

She didn't know what it meant, but she thought it was funny? You only get one of those excuses.

2

u/anamorphosee 9h ago

Nothing funny about addiction. I’m so sorry she did that to you.

3

u/PlantLadyI 1d ago

There are no instances where that's an acceptable thing to give. The sentiment is unmistakable. What's wrong with these people.

2

u/Vegetable-Whole-2344 1d ago

Did you know she disliked you? That’s quite rude.

1

u/thr3lilbirds 22h ago

I don’t think you’re on much of an upswing as you think with your addiction

2

u/AnxiousAudience82 1d ago

The sad thing is you proved her right by ‘over doing it’ that night when they all went to bed. Yes it’s bitchy thing to do, but watching her daughter be married to an alcoholic can’t be easy. Might be time to get sober and give up the booze completely. Just think how smug you can be next year with MIL with a years sobriety under your belt! r/stopdrinking is a great resource. Good luck friend.

1

u/Javaman1960 1d ago

That's foul.

1

u/Indishonorable 21h ago

I'd throw her out for that immediately.

1

u/AnnDroidGirl Gen X 17h ago

Pretty sure she knew exactly what she was doing. I used to know an old bat like that. I know it is hard, but try to just ignore her and not let her know you are upset. That's what they live for. Miserable old bitches.

1

u/Fit_Inspection3160 17h ago

She knew exactly what it meant and knew it would hurt you. I am so glad you told them to get out. They don’t deserve to be in your home.

Best wishes for a wonderful new year with friends who love and support you. Take care of yourself.

1

u/Commanderkins 15h ago

Yeah that’s an inappropriate gift to give period.

Good for you for not going off on her and communicating to you mil that this upsets you. That’s really important as it sets a boundary on what’s acceptable, and it also shows your growth in your journey.

And while you did excuse yourself to drink after hours, I feel like you don’t want this to continue and will keep on keeping on and keep stepping forward.

So good luck, was a shitty thing for her to do, don’t let this take you out.

1

u/JanetNurse60 15h ago

Not just a boomer problem. It’s an ass hole problem

1

u/Battle_Dave 14h ago

Ugh. I'm sorry that happened to you. For what it's worth, I think you handled it with grace and maturity. Dont let this drag you down though. One step at a time, for no one but yourself if you have to. Keep fighting.

1

u/Judgment-Timely 14h ago

Keep walking the path my sibling. Its a long road filled with many setbacks. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.

1

u/cant_think_of_one_ 13h ago

That sucks. Keep up the fight against your addiction and try not to let this thoughtless gift damage your morale any more than it already has. You MIL is almost certainly a crappy person who is in no place to judge you.

1

u/foldinthechhese 13h ago

Do you have any struggles with weight? If so, there’s a medication that has completely eliminated my urge to drink. I was drinking every night. I have had 5 drinks in the last year and probably only enjoyed 1 of those. It was a shitty gift and I wouldn’t want to be around her for a long time.

1

u/Opening_Nobody_4317 11h ago

Dude. Your MIL is vicious. If this weren't incredibly hurtful it would be hilarious.

1

u/AnybodyNo8519 11h ago

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

1

u/Dante1141 8h ago

Emotional intelligence is not their strong suit. They were taught that selfishness and greed are virtues, so they're not accustomed to seeing things from another person's perspective.

1

u/sterling417 7h ago

Beyond the issues it’s caused you, which I’m sorry for your struggles, it’s just so stupid. What a worthless joke. It’s just so unfunny, and to waste money on it as a gift to boot. Can’t get over what boomers will buy without a thought in their heads.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Brief56 6h ago

Maybe if you were sober it would have been funny

-2

u/Lazy-Associate-4508 1d ago

No more drinking! If you do, she wins and the plaque is right.

1

u/1meganbyte 1d ago

I’m sure you mean well, but this isn’t a helpful comment. I’m sure OP is feeling enough shame about the cruel “gift” and slipping up. Sure, the slip up isn’t ideal, but it doesn’t erase all the progress OP has made. Most successes in life aren’t linear. The important thing is to keep trying.

0

u/MaximumRecording1170 18h ago

It’s weird that I’d normally side with you, but the fact you added you still drink kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Not knowing your worst case scenarios, and todays difference, it probably rubs them the wrong way too. I’d say it’s all fair game until you quit. But I don’t know the whole deal. Don’t listen to me.

-4

u/justjinpnw 1d ago

I try to give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was a funnt "can you believe life" gift.

Any chance you're offended because you're IN the basement?

I imagine it's also rough watching your child's life impacted by your alcoholism.

1

u/1meganbyte 1d ago

It’s rough watching assholes like you kick this person while they’re down. There’s no excuse for this “gift.” I imagine it’s rough having you as a child and watching the lives of all those around you being impacted by your assholeism.

-3

u/justjinpnw 1d ago

I'm an asshole because I'm suggesting he's still at the bottom and doesn't realize it? Boofuckinghoo.

He asked for a reality check.

You'll have to figure out why you're taking it so personal.

4

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 23h ago

He didn’t ask for a reality check, in his initial statement, or in any comment in the this thread. You just think he needs one, and you’re the person to provide it. Wrong.

-22

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

18

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

I know you are trying to help, but it's not helping. She has no history or knowledge of alcoholism. Booze is rarely the solution to everything positive and negative in life (this was the first, oh shit, I lost control moment in 2 years). When I say night and day, I mean like night on the darkside of the moon and day on the sun. I still have work to do, but we all do.

-11

u/knivesout0 1d ago

Very true we all have work to do. I was just trying to play devils advocate here. Good luck to you.

21

u/itogisch Millennial 1d ago

Your "attempt" at trying to "help" at the end is severly overshadowed by just shoving blame in OPs face. And beating him while he is down.

I am honestly confused what you aim to accomplish with this comment?

13

u/HighElfEsteem 1d ago

Thank you

5

u/1meganbyte 1d ago

While your MIL is kind of an asshole, she’s not wrong.

Fuck off with this. She’s an asshole and she’s wrong. Nobody needs you to play devils advocate or pontificate about alcoholism.

1

u/thatgraygal 1d ago

Read the room. Great message. Terrible timing. Sometimes we just need a supportive and kind word.

-4

u/sweetwhistle 21h ago

Why struggle? AA can be your solution. It’s been mine for many years.

2

u/RoseFlavoredPoison 12h ago

As a child who grew up in AA halls, it works for SOME if you work it. There are some aspects of 12 step that are unsuitable for folk and it leads to relapse.

Glad you are rocking sobriety!

-2

u/TexasLoriG 1d ago

Your MIL is passively trolling you. I am sure you know that a person who has struggled with your issues has made choices which negatively effect others. I think she is lashing out from hurt.

Know this is no indictment of you or your character. In fact I have struggled with some of the same issues so on some level I understand a little. I wish you well. Hang in there friend, you are doing the best you can and this means you are doing good.