r/BlatantMisogyny • u/ImperadorPenedo • Oct 09 '21

Sexism Ah yes, I can’t date because of women. It’s totally not beacause of my horrible behavior…

755 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

97 comments sorted by

460

u/Licking_your_asshole Oct 09 '21

Oh no! She has had sex before!!! She has genitalia preference!!! Oh lord

96

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

I read the genitalia preference as related to being gay, but you meant the dick size. Usually I try to believe people won't be transphobic but then they are, it's nice when the opposite happens.

124

u/robotatomica Oct 09 '21

a person preferring certain genitalia is not transphobic though, am I misunderstanding your comment? That would undermine the concept of sexual preference..

-21

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

am I misunderstanding your comment?

Yes. Preferring genitals isn't transphobic, but defining a specific sexual orientation as such is. For example, one lesbian may prefer vulvas, while another happily dates women with male genitalia. Therefore, to say lesbianism is defined by a genital preferences for vulvas would've been transphobic, to say people have genital preferences isn't. That's how I read their comment at first, but then realised I was wrong.

67

u/robotatomica Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

in all fairness, none of us win if you overuse the word “transphobic.” A lot of us are learning and adapting. Some things haven’t occurred to some people yet, it doesn’t make them transphobic. Someone being ignorant of something is not transphobic.

Saying something biased against trans people, cruel about them, making fun of them, undermining their experience and identity, willfully reinforcing stereotypes, ya know, being hateful, that’s transphobia.

Someone not considering that a lesbian may still like dating a woman with a penis is not inherently transphobic. They just probably hadn’t encountered that in their experiences or learned about it yet.

Which is when it’s a great time to have conversations. But to intimate that kind of thing ought to be coded as transphobic is exactly the kind of thing that makes people so reactive to the term that they don’t take it seriously when we speak out against transphobia.

Imagine being a sheltered heterosexual cis-gendered home-schooled woman from a small town and being called hateful as you clumsily navigate through learning about different people and how to be respectful of identities which are new to you. That’s not phobic, ok?

*editing to add, ignorance isn’t the only thing that might lead to this kinda thing. As we begin as a society to really speak about and embrace the vastness of human identity and experience, the culture is constantly and swiftly evolving. Terms that were mindful a year ago are now limiting, lacking, sometimes even bad taste. Not everyone is going to be able to keep up with everything and what’s more, a lot of ideas and terms are used regionally more in one area than another. (for instance, most young hispanics that I know prefer latinx, they find gendering individuals with “latino” dated, but a lot of latin Americans find that term offensive to the point of accusing cultural appropriation! It is also clear certain regions use “latinx naturally and heavily, whereas other areas it would be jarring to hear. Just a small example of what I am talking about). It isn’t phobic if you haven’t assimilated all new information on a topic yet or the latest terms. I’d say it gets hateful when one becomes aware and insists on using offensive, dated terms anyway however.

-38

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

Okay, but I wasn't talking to a sheltered heterosexual cis-gendered home-schooled woman, and I wasn't accusing the person of being transphobic, I was expressing delighted at the opposite, because this sub gets a lot of TERFs and I was relieved this wasn't the case. Don't criticise me for things I didn't do.

27

u/robotatomica Oct 09 '21

you said it would be transphobic if this person assumed lesbians only like vulva. I disagree that that would be transphobic, it’s merely uninformed.

I wasn’t criticizing you, I was critiquing you though bc to me your comment seemed misguided. I’m only one person so yeah, take that with a grain of salt, but don’t just immediately write off feedback..you may not have made the point you intended to, and I don’t think the spirit of your comment was productive. It was reactive to something imagined.

-10

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

It was reactive to something imagined.

Yes, of course it was. That's almost literally what my comment says, how I'm happy I was mistaken.

EtA: Maybe we could be less concerned with the hypothetical feelings of imaginary well-intentioned cis people who weren't even here? If they're so eager to learn they'll survive the term transphobic. Much like misogyny, it doesn't always rely on active hatred. Sometimes, ignorance can be enough to perpetuate it. An idea can be transphobic without the person speaking it necessarily being so, and it's not wrong to call it by its name. Plus, transphobia on this sub is rarely accidental, and calling out is my unpaid job.

25

u/robotatomica Oct 09 '21

Your comments betray a lot of unnecessary hate..mad at imagined offenses, creating false dichotomies suggesting we can’t be kind to cis and trans people both with equal ease, without disparaging the other.

Cis people will survive being slandered by that word when you use it inappropriately for sure..does it mean it’s cool to do that? Cool to call someone a misogynist for not knowing the urethra is not in the vagina?

It’s not what the word means and it is unproductive and shitty to use it that way. You don’t care though and are doubling down, so I will demur.

-5

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

Lol, what even. You tried to find fault in my comment, when there was none you immediately found another thing to complain about, and when that doesn't work out so nicely you're making up intentions for me because I disagree, calling me hateful because I don't think a term is as bad as you think?

I'm not creating dichotomies, I just think it's very telling that you're reprimanding people's tone when they point out transphobia (which I didn't even fucking do). It's one of the favoured tactics of people who wish not to disturb the status quo. You don't get to complain about my word choice not being polite enough, then call me hateful 3 comments later. You've misinterpreted me at every point, I don't think you're even properly reading my comments, maybe because you're so sure you know better than me.

Cis people will survive being slandered

Pointing out transphobia isn't slander. I hate how often I have to repeat myself with you, but an idea is still transphobic even if the speaker is not.

Cool to call someone a misogynist for not knowing the urethra is not in the vagina?

That's just it. They might not be a misogynist, but the fact that they don't know is still rooted in misogyny.

"Demur" all you want, be as smug about it as you like, but don't confuse arrogance for actual superiority. Accept that I don't agree with you, without trying to put me down for it.

→ More replies (0)

16

u/mediocreporno Oct 09 '21

This person is just trying to add new perspective to the convo you started, not hating on you, you know?

7

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

I didn't think they were at this point. Did my reply come across annoyed? That wasn't the intention.

8

u/mediocreporno Oct 09 '21

If that's a legitimate question (I'm sorry if it is but often people are sarcastic), you've come across as defensive and you accused them of criticising you when they were just contributing an opinion... then you became aggressive in your replies. Their comments really don't read to me as though they were trying to put you down. I'm not either, I just wanted to point out that they were trying to continue your conversation in good faith and you shut it down because you didn't like their opinion, which kind of works against you at the end of the day.

6

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

Hm. It didn't feel that way to me at all, so I appreciate the outsider input. With all the trolls we have to ban, I often worry that I'll see hostility where there is none. Thanks for explaining, I'll think about it.

31

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

[deleted]

16

u/converter-bot Oct 09 '21

8 inches is 20.32 cm

8

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

Good thing no one said that, at all,

Read my initial comment again, you're misreading this entire situation. I didn't make the connection to the 8inch dick thing and assumed they were referring to the part that said "gay". Then I realised my mistake, so I deleted my initial criticism and expressed joy instead.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

[deleted]

4

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

Were you expecting this person to scramble to apologize and clarify, "oh no, I'm sorry, I would never!

Clearly you didn't read my comment. Stop trying to pick a fight.

EtA: you got comments on your profile complaining that XX is being "overrun" by trans people, I think I'll take your opinions with a boulder of salt.

6

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

What the fuck just happened here?!

8

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

Honestly, I don't know either 🤷🏼

144

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

They really, really, REALLY, reallyREALLY want to be victims, don't they?

But this one gets some points for originality for refusing to accept things like 'eww,' 'taken' and 'I'm gay' as valid reasons to reject him.

1

u/SarcasticAndSmartGuy Nov 04 '21

The being gay or taken thing makes sense at first, but the eww thing takes a little thinking. You would hopefully come to the conclusion that she knows and dislikes him, or doesn't know him and obviously doesn't want to become his girlfriend.

128

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

Always makes me wonder if men like him are confusing the being-nice-to-a-creepy-man-so-we-don't-get-murdered thing for actual attraction, and in that case, why do they think every woman they meet who's nice to them is into them?

235

u/The-Shattering-Light Oct 09 '21

He’s answered his own question of why he has trouble dating - his toxic personality.

73

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

It's pretty much a TikTok video summarizing the entire incel movement

53

u/jet8493 Oct 09 '21

I see that sneaky lil pig lives matter flag on his wall. They have a hard time hiding their shittiness

15

u/stressed-mathnerd16 Feminist Killjoy Oct 09 '21

These types of guys lack self awareness; they’ll just blame all of their faults on women instead of trying to change their toxic traits. I get major incel energy from it

-3

u/SmilesandFantasy Oct 09 '21

And a pp smaller than 8 inches. He really just ratted himself out in that video of all qualities he doesn't possess lol

10

u/apacheattaccspaniard Oct 10 '21

Nah, the size of his dick is irrelevant here. Him thinking women aren't dating him because of his dick size is messed up and exactly what we're criticising him for.

0

u/SmilesandFantasy Oct 10 '21

I know that lol. My point is that he is obviously stating the qualities he doesn't possess that he thinks are important to women while also not seeing the bigger picture that he is an ass. For example, he thinks having 8 inches is significant, basically saying he doesn't have one. Which is kind of funny because it shows his own personal standard of what he himself thinks he lacks

114

u/Spraystation42 Oct 09 '21

Has anyone actually seen more than 2 women shame a guy's dick for being under 8 inches outside of cartoons, movies, and porn? (not including situations where the guy sent an unsolicited dick pick or showed his dick against her will in person?)

55

u/converter-bot Oct 09 '21

8 inches is 20.32 cm

7

u/0KelpShake0 Oct 10 '21

The best bot

48

u/Queso_and_Molasses Oct 09 '21

Most women I know definitely don’t prefer 8 inches. It’s painful. I have vaginismus so size doesn’t matter, all of it sucks.

18

u/cyanideNsadness Oct 10 '21

Eyyy, partners in pain

42

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

And eight inches is actually bigger than most people realize, the average US penis size is 4-6. Out of 100 men, only five are going to be bigger than 6 inches, according to current research.

11

u/poppybench Oct 10 '21

I think your last bit is the issue. I criticize unsolicited (and there for all) dick picks I get. I know my friends do it too. And we're absolutely brutal about it. It's fun and turns a negative into a positive.

93

u/TheShapeShiftingFox Oct 09 '21

“10+ bodies” has even more the associations of assassinations and murder than “body count” has

54

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

If someone uses that expression, you gotta explain to them, earnestly and slowly, that human biology is different from that of mantises or certain spiders, and that human males in fact tend to survive sexual encounters.

21

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

I love the fact you said tend

11

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

I mean

The annual incidence of sudden cardiovascular deaths during sexual activity is estimated to be 0.2/100,000 men.

6

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

Wow. That’s kinda frightening

10

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 09 '21

No worries, that's a pretty low number. 2 per Million.

8

u/poppybench Oct 10 '21

"is having more than 10 bodies a lot?"

"if you mean sexual partners, then no. If you mean in your basement, then yes"

2

u/SarcasticAndSmartGuy Nov 04 '21

"I have both, and it's the same ten people."

Yes I'm being sarcastic.

3

u/Schexet Oct 10 '21

I interpreted it as having to have a 10/10 body but said in stupid, guess body count makes more sense

56

u/tipthebaby Oct 09 '21

Can we please stop calling the number of past sexual partners "body counts"?

71

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

He wants a gf so bad but won’t date one who has a kid or has had sex before? Hmmm…

31

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

Beacause he thinks he’s the last chip in the bag and doesn’t lower his standards… I want one too, however, unlike him I have self awareness and I’m understanding, something he will never know what it is…

24

u/agent0017 Oct 09 '21

Oh look a blue lives matter flag.🙄

6

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

I didn’t see that even…

2

u/SarcasticAndSmartGuy Nov 04 '21

What's blue lives matter!?

2

u/agent0017 Nov 04 '21

It's some bullshit created to counter Black Lives Matter where it's supposed to show that cops lives matter its similar to All Lives Matter it just exists to counter Black Lives Matter.

38

u/Saturn_Burnz Oct 09 '21

Boy really used monsters vs aliens as audio 💀

5

u/UnderPressureVS Oct 10 '21

Thank you, I was wondering what that was

2

u/SarcasticAndSmartGuy Nov 04 '21

Ohh, I remember. Is it the scene where the giant lady meets the cockroach scientist?

18

u/GodLahuro Oct 09 '21

"Just give me a chance" you say that as if anyone owes you "a chance" like bro how narcissistic do you need to be to think that if someone wants nothing to do with you, you deserve a "chance"?

17

u/Wasp_Rick70 Oct 09 '21

Im taken.

19

u/Thritzer Oct 09 '21

this is a good metaphor.

17

u/starm4nn Oct 09 '21

He wants a GF that badly and yet he has that haircut... Curious

23

u/Newwavesupport3657 Oct 09 '21

A lot of women are opting to be single because so many men are turned on by choking, slapping, and hitting women, and painful and violent sex and addicted to porn.

Turning us women the fuck off. Dry as the desert. Dating men is dangerous.

17

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

Oh I 100% get you. A lot do get high in such violent content like that… it’s so wrong and creepy. With so many lunatics and rapists around I get a why you would do that. I respect your decision.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

Yeah, hurting women, even is a rolepaly thing, is not something I would do.

0

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 10 '21

Too far, deleted. No kinkshaming on here. That includes theorising that all people into a specific kink must be bad people.

9

u/elieff Oct 10 '21

incel culture

6

u/ZoeIsHahaha Feminist Killjoy Oct 09 '21

I thought that was Morgz for a second

1

u/SarcasticAndSmartGuy Nov 04 '21

He's just as stupid.

17

u/ZoeyLikesDBD Oct 09 '21

That casual transphobia at the end too

-5

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

it’s not really transphobia to not want to date a trans person (not that i’m defending the rest of the video)

22

u/ZoeyLikesDBD Oct 09 '21

I understand that, but in the video at the end he said “Im a dude” implying that Trans Women aren’t Women and are instead Men, thats the transphobic part

0

u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil Oct 10 '21

It is transphobia to categorically reject all trans people for being trans, and to put it in a video like this suggesting that their transness is somehow an issue. Imagine the hate a woman would get if she made such a video and included some immutable attribute some men have, say "I wanna date, but oh no, all those 4" and smaller dicks make it impossible!" She'd get death threats for the rest of her life. Let's not defend this guy pulling the same crap on trans people.

4

u/SATANMAN1 Oct 09 '21

What’s the Audio from

So familiar but I can’t quite place it

4

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 09 '21

Aliens vs monsters

4

u/SATANMAN1 Oct 09 '21

That’s it

Thanks man

4

u/oSoraya Oct 10 '21

"10+ bodies" bro who cares. this made me laugh tho lmao

8

u/PopperGould123 Oct 09 '21

He seems pretty judgy

6

u/thatweirdassbunny Feminist Oct 10 '21

oh no. women are checks notes:

-gay

-already in a relationship

-have a child from a past relationshi

-trans (which is how i’m interpreting the “i’m a man” one since it wouldn’t put it past him calling trans women men”)

-have sexual experiences before him which do not effect him or the relationship with him

what are women doing?? clearly they are making themselves undateable, he is not making himself undateable with his toxic and very misogynistic points of view.

5

u/ChaoticNichole Feminist Oct 10 '21

And all of these reasons are still a perfectly valid reason to reject someone (although I think wanting 8 inches is a bit of a tall order, might wanna make it 6 and a half).

3

u/EggBoyandJuiceGirl ORGANISED FEMALES Oct 10 '21

Oh no!! Sexual preferences?? A sexual history? God FORBID you have a current partner that isn’t me!

This man is cockblocking himself as well as transphobic as hell

2

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '21

Looks like he has blue line flags, another reason no one wants to date him (rightfully so)

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 14 '21

As a male I can confirm that this is not true and I do not feel the same way.

2

u/Jenn_There_Done_That Feminist Killjoy Oct 14 '21

Apologies. That user is banned now. :)

2

u/ImperadorPenedo Oct 14 '21

Thanks

2

u/Jenn_There_Done_That Feminist Killjoy Oct 14 '21

My pleasure

-10

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

[removed] — view removed comment