r/BlatantMisogyny • u/itsjustmebobross • 2d ago
a certain leftist subreddit can’t handle a genuine discussion about patriarchy.
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u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil 2d ago
Lefty reddit can be so fucking exhausting. I'm on a sub in my language, and the amount of casual misogyny and their utter blindness to it is infuriating. The "are women to blame for sexism" argument seems to circulate there once a week. Recently, a guy got overwhelming support for saying it's no wonder young men support a known human trafficker (you can guess) because one woman posted a slightly mean-spirited meme he didn't understand. It's worse bc at least with right wingers, you know what to expect. With leftist men, you never know if they'll turn on you.
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u/rainbowlolipop 2d ago
A white man in my local leftist group said people who voted for Kamala are "greenlighting genocide" and if you voted for her because you were afraid for your rights as a human being that it's actually the same mentally as conservatives voting for Trump because they're anti-choice.
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u/yttrium39 2d ago
Where did these idiots get the idea that trump would be the savior of the Palestinians? Or did they expect a third candidate to materialize from nowhere in response to their whining?
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u/Annoyed_kat 1d ago
The logic is Dems should understand supporting genocide loses elections. The consequences of Kamala winning on the most right wing dem platform ever, AND genocide, is a democratic party convinced going right and doing mass murder are inconsequential.
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u/9mackenzie 1d ago
Well, now we are about to be ruled by literal fascists, losing rights by the minute, and might never have another real election again.
Good job.
(She also didn’t have the most right wing platform ever, but it doesn’t matter because she lost. Now we have the actual most right wing psychos in power, so again, good job!)
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u/Annoyed_kat 1d ago
Political blackmail doesn't win elections either clearly. The real failure was not having actual alternatives to genocidal maniacs like Kamala and trump.
She kept capitulating or staying quiet on immigrant and LGBT rights. If you're "winnable" on those things at all obviously it's not the Dems who you'll vote for, but the republicans.
Votes are supposed to be conditional. Political hostage taking is not a platform.
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u/Professional_Taste33 2d ago
That's not even close. Every option was pro genocide. Sounds like they just didn't vote, which is suboptimal at best.
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u/pearl_mermaid 2d ago
Not all so-called "leftists" stand for values like they pretend to.
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u/FoolishConsistency17 2d ago
You see this in education a lot. Huge proponents of progressive ideals, except they leverage every scrap of privilege they have to make sure to keep the system on that benefits their kids. Every attempt to increase equity first goes through "but is there any potential downside, however unlikely, for my kid?".
I'm not talking about just using your knowledge of the system to make sure your kid gets services or something. That's fine. I mean more like actively advocating against policies that would help kids because of a perceived zero-sum game.
I see it all the time and it makes me far more angry than Bible thumpers.
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u/vaxfarineau 2d ago
Lmfaoooo they keep dancing around just saying “well, why don’t WOMEN advocate for men?!?!” You know that’s what they wanna say. These things aren’t happening because other men aren’t supporting them. But they won’t accept that men aren’t advocating for these causes.
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u/itsjustmebobross 2d ago
also ppl basically replied to this with “well no one is blaming women!!” when in fact a lot of people in this same community ARE blaming women
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u/Condemned2Be 1d ago
Well, it’s implied whenever they say it can’t be men’s fault.
If lack of male support systems can not be men’s fault, then whose fault is it? In my experience, leftist men will immediately mumble something about “society” causing all their problems & how “society” doesn’t value them enough. “Society” is the one to blame, not men! They will argue endlessly that men simply can’t be to blame. But if it’s not the men in society causing these problems then what part of “society” are they blaming exactly? And there’s the rub.
It’s just a loose way to blame women for men’s issues without ever having to just lay their opinion out honestly. They don’t really want you to focus on the issue OR the cause anyway. They’re hoping you’ll just focus on their real point: that men as a whole can not be held accountable for men’s issues in any way. Not as the cause OR the solution.
This is why I just throw up my hands & don’t bother with such arguments on Reddit. The general population of men here are NOT going to participate in their own betterment. That, too, is seen as women’s work.
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u/za003 2d ago
Also this is just bs lol I've seen plenty of men-only services and spaces here in the UK... Yes even homeless shelters!
I literally know poor, homeless and other struggling men that use these men-only services. I genuinely don't know what these guys are complaining about we literally already have them!!!
On the other hand, a well-known woman's charity in my region also gives services to men. Which I found kind of odd considering they literally have the word "women" in their name...
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u/IshyTheLegit 2d ago
Right-wing influencer fearmongering shares a lot of the blame. They're under the assumption angry feminists shut down any male-only domestic violence shelters.
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u/lindanimated 2d ago
I’m so tired of this. It’s like “leftist” men can’t handle the idea of intersectionality and default to their male-socialised programming when called out in any way about misogyny. They pretend to understand and support oppressed people, but if anyone mentions they still have male privilege despite their lack of other privileges, they freak out.
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u/itsjustmebobross 2d ago
it’s like white ppl who claim to be activists but cry when white privilege is brought up. pisses me the fuck off
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u/lindanimated 2d ago
OMG I know! And I actually used to be one of those white people who got uncomfortable when people talked about white privilege. But unlike the man in this post, I at some point I actually did some introspection and accepted that I had a lot to learn and that I needed to listen to POC without making it about myself. I still do have stuff to learn, but I’ve gotten much better. I try to be intersectional in all of my activism now. It’s not that hard.
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u/Staraa 2d ago
I’m homeless with my daughter and acknowledge every single day how lucky I am that I’m white. It would be so much worse for us if we were POC and I’m able to be open (and slightly obnoxious) about it purely because of my white privilege. Trying to use it to make things better for all women in my shoes.
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u/TychaBrahe 2d ago
Glorious Steinem talked about hearing one speaker in the 1960s talking about how a more socialist society would include access to "free food, free grass, and free women."
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u/lindanimated 1d ago
Reading this made me raise my eyebrows and slow blink in disbelief IRL. Holy shit.
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u/giac444 2d ago
There’s a lot of “progressive” men that show their true colors when you say something they don’t like.
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u/galettedesrois 2d ago
It always guts me when I see them make horrendously sexist comments about any woman who isn’t on their political side — because apparently misogyny becomes suddenly OK if it’s against someone they don’t like. And they really let it all out then, with such glee, as if it’s such a relief to them that in this case it’s (finally) permitted.
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u/itsjustmebobross 2d ago
god the comments about sydney sweeney when people thought she was a trump supporter disgusted me. like if she does support that man (i don’t think she does tbh) then she’s fucking stupid yes, but nobody deserves to be reduced to their breasts.
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u/Yutolia Feminist Killjoy 2d ago
Yeah, the ‘while factual, it’s insensitive!’ bla bla bla comment… ummmm ok? I’m sorry facts hurt your feelings? Do you need a bottle and a nap, dude? It’s not our job to be mommy and protect you, especially not from your own bullshit. But of course dudes like this expect women and likely POC, LGBT people, and PWD as well to just stfu and keep our experiences and scary facts to ourselves.
Im so sick of straight white able neurotypical cis men expecting everyone who is not them to just absorb all of their shit and do all of the emotional labor for the entire world.
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u/uhohmykokoro Feminist 2d ago
I see this a lot whenever JK Rowling makes the news for something. I don’t like her either but they’ll say downright horrendous stuff about her 😓
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u/JTMissileTits 2d ago
They want women to set up and run these support groups because they know shit will get done, even if they refuse to admit that women are better at organization, prioritizing tasks, and leading because we have to be. If we don't do it, it doesn't get done.
Most male C-suites have at least one assistant and probably a spouse who handles all of their social, administrative, organization, and personal stuff. Something like 85% of executive assistants are women.
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u/Queso_and_Molasses 1d ago
I cannot stand it when men complain about the resources women fought hard to create for ourselves and act as if they are oppressed because they do not have those same resources. Be the change you want to see in the world, we can’t be battling our issues and yours too.
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u/boo_jum 1d ago
It’s so “why do you have it and we don’t!” And if you point out they’ve never asked/fought for it, while women HAVE? Crickets.
It’s like they’re hoping to win the lottery but never buy a ticket.
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u/Condemned2Be 1d ago
No, it’s lazier than that.
They have the ticket in their pocket but refuse to scratch it off. There’s no limit on winning tickets, you just have to try & see. Lots of women have losing tickets too. But some women scratch & get winning tickets.
So the men stand in a group waving their tickets going, “The lottery is rigged to women! Men never get to win the lottery! It’s not our fault that the tickets are scratchers. Until women take the time to scratch EVERYBODY’S tickets, the lottery shouldn’t be allowed.”
And the whole time they could just stop talking & start scratching. They’re probably holding a handful of winning tickets already.
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u/teriyakireligion 2d ago
Earl Silverman's house was only for male victims of female 'violence.* I had a guy tell me once that "words hurt worse than injuries," or some such shit, then admitted his wife had spoken harshly to him. Why wasn't Silverman helping the vast majority of male victims,---who are abused by other men?
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u/NotADoctorB99 1d ago
Women literally broke the law to set up DV shelters. They did not have any funding or grants but they kept going because they were saving lives. They may be supported by grants etc now but it's basically pennies compared to the cost of running them.
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u/huteno 2d ago
Care to share more context about the post you were responding to? Not trying to brigade, just wanna understand what they're thinking.
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u/itsjustmebobross 2d ago
the comment they’re replying to was talking about how cancer patients that are women had stuff like wigs and makeup. and the post was about how men only get manly stuff for christmas
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u/readysetalala 1d ago
Why bother being on leftist spaces anyway? Aren’t they just as bad if not worse than rightwingers when it comes to women’s issues? Thinking that women are just among the “free” stuff they’re entitled to? Or that intersectionality is just “shitty identity politics”?
Most men are shite. And unfortunately, leftist men are still men.
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u/itsjustmebobross 18h ago
it’s kinda hard to explain. the sub isn’t an inherently political one but it is left leaning and does have a politics flair. but overall it’s more for memes and shitposting. i would say the actual sub but idk if that’s allowed on this subreddit
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u/EpitaFelis pompous she-devil 12h ago
The left is more than just feeling "entitled to free stuff," and while men in any group can be misogynistic, a lot of leftist men try to be decent feminist allies. Also, the left isn't only comprised of men. Most people spend time in those spaces based on political goals, not to spend time with leftisr men in particular.
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u/InitialCold7669 2d ago
I feel like men should just have domestic violence shelters and there shouldn't be this argument about who makes them If you care about the issue of domestic violence you should support men having shelters instead of squabbling about who makes them after all it's the same public money going to these things I'm pretty sure they're all run by grants and donations and grants are just unused tax money that's unassigned so politicians just throw it to stuff like this at least that's my understanding of grants
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u/itsjustmebobross 2d ago
nobody is saying men shouldn’t have DV shelters. like not a single person. but the point is that if women are focused on women DV shelters then men need to be focused in the same way. but it’s usually just brought up as a gotcha in an anti feminist debate instead of a genuine discussion
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u/80mg 2d ago
Men can call domestic violence shelters and ask for resources- many of these shelters will often provide them with a hotel room/lodging and/or connect them with resources.
Men often don’t call for these resources because (1) statistically men do not need the same type of immediate emergency services that women do because they both experience less intimate partner violence and the abuse they do experience is less likely to be life threatening or otherwise immediately unsafe (2) men are more likely to have the financial resources to leave without seeking services and (3) men are less likely to be traveling with children and more likely to stay with friends or family if necessary.
On a similar note, women with children are more likely to use a shelter than women without children, as are women who were injured physically. Women do not differ from men in this way, women are just more likely to have children and be injured physically.
Men also have other resources that they can tap into that are not focused on domestic violence - like homeless shelters- because those are places that are safer for men than they are for women and children and, again, they are unlikely to need the extra protection offered by a domestic violence shelter.
Any funding that comes from “public money” (meaning, not private grants from private foundations) is mostly allocated at the state level and it is estimated that “on any day over 5,000 women are unable to use services because of a lack of funding or space.” Another resource “found that emergency shelters served over 66,581 people in one day and over 9,000 requests could not be met during the same period”. None of it comes from unassigned tax slush funds that politicians can use as they wish (?). Do you now understand how grants work? Or taxes?
Men experience abuse, but the “what aboutism” of male domestic violence shelters is specifically an MRA, anti-feminist, pro-patriarchal talking point intended to cut resources for women.
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u/Condemned2Be 1d ago
Women are in full support of men having shelters, as you suggest.
Women have also provided shelters that will also accept men, like Turning Point & Hope.
The lack of exclusively male shelters (the issue at hand) is obviously a male issue. Men seeking safety from violent women probably don’t want to go to a shelter run by women. If men aren’t willing to vote for funding towards shelters or volunteer their time or resources towards the cause… then what else is there to say? Women are fully in support of men having these supports. It seems like men are the ones who don’t care about the cause.
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u/TrixoftheTrade 2d ago
The People’s Misogyny!