Homeless family asking for assistance with move-in costs to get back into a stable home after losing everything

[u/allallalag]

https://gofund.me/7da86999

Hello,

My wife and I ended up homeless with our children suddenly in July 2024 when we were wrongfully evicted from the apartment we had been living in for nearly 8 years. We've been bouncing around from hotels, to Airbnb's, and shared living houses for 4.5 months now.

Then, last month, the storage unit that contained our entire life - everything we had left aside from a couple of bags we packed to keep with us - was sold in auction.

We have lost everything.

We are currently living in a shared living house, where we rent a bedroom. We share common areas with other people who also live in the house. Recently, things have become tense, because the people living in the two bedrooms next to ours are angry that our two very young children - 1 and 2 years old, sometimes wake up crying at night if they have a nightmare, when they are sick, etc (as toddlers often do). We do our best to soothe them, but sometimes young kids just cry. People bang on our bedroom door and yell about the noise. It's not a good environment for our kids at this point.

Now, we are so close to being out of our current situation.

After applying to apartments for months, and being denied over and over again due to our recent eviction, a friend of ours reached out with a solution. She and her husband own a home that they will rent to us, for 1250/month - $550 less than we currently pay for one small room. The house will be move-in ready on January 1st.

We've already set up the utilities for the house in our name, because our friend is letting us go over there to clean the house up and paint, but we cannot actually move in until we can come up with the deposit and first months rent.

We haven't been able to save up enough. Due to our current costs of living, especially the high weekly rent for our room, we just don't have enough. We are both employed full time, and we are saving every penny that we can, but at our current rate it will take at least another 6-8 weeks of saving before we reach our goal.

I am officially asking for help. We cannot live like this for another 2 months or more. Our kids especially do not deserve this.

Any help at all would be greatly appreciated. Even if we partly reach our goal, it will bring us closer and allow us to move into the house sooner.

This is a complex situation, so I'm more than happy to answer any questions or provide as much documentation/proof of our situation that I can.

Thank you to everyone who has read this, and Merry Christmas + Happy Holidays 💚

[u/uppercasemad]

Campaign status: $180 USD raised $4.5K goal

[u/asmrgurll]

Just took a peek at your go fund me. I unfortunately am a struggling single mother and with my son having weeks off I’m already in a pretty bad spot financially myself.

However noticed for your area programs exist that specifically can help with things like security deposit and first months rent: https://www.rentful614.com

If that doesn’t work or they are unable to help. 211 the phone number or 211 website might have other additional resources in your area.

[u/ktyranasaurusrex]

Curious, by what mean when you say you were wrongfully evicted?

[u/Flinkle]

A "close friend" knows the situation you've been in and wants nearly 3 grand up front, including a security deposit? With friends like that...

[u/allallalag → u/Flinkle]

Our friend's husband, specifically. She is a close friend, but we don't know him as well as we know her. We only really see him when we go to family gatherings and certain holidays.

They both own the house, of course, but he is the one who handles everything regarding renting it.

They already reduced the monthly rent from somewhere around 1650 down to 1250 for us, because she knows that the 1800 we're paying now is hard on us.

Aside from that, she told us that she has already promised him that she wouldn't ask her husband for any special favors just because we're friends. He's the type who believes "Any other landlord would require the deposit and first months rent up front, why shouldn't I?"

Regardless, they are still doing is a huge favor by giving us this opportunity.

We applied to 15 different apartments and houses before they offered to rent us their house. Every single application we sent in was denied due to the recent eviction. Even when we tried talking to property managers directly, the eviction meant an automatic denial.

Our only option is to take this offer, which is actually pretty good - 1250/month for a 3 bedroom house, or spend the next 5 years living in small hotel rooms that cost much more than actually renting would cost (5 years is how long it will be until the eviction falls off our records).

[u/Flinkle → u/allallalag]

I get it. It's just shitty dealings, and I personally would not call either of them a close friend. Maybe not even "friend." At this point, just "landlord."

I do certainly wish you well. I've been in a similar situation (disabled here) and if I hadn't managed to get an apartment in the projects, I'm sure I would have wound up homeless. People have no idea how quickly life can change. ❤️

[u/allallalag → u/Flinkle]

Thank you for being so understanding. Life really can change so fast. Even just one year ago, I never would have imagined that this would be our life now.

I'm glad that you got an apartment. So many people get stuck in a cycle of living in extended stay hotels, motels, sketchy shared living spaces, etc. These places charge even more than an actual apartment or house, which means the people living there can't really save up for the expenses of moving, like a deposit. It's the cycle I'm trying to break for our family.

As far as our friend. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that. It's a tough pill to swallow because my wife and I both don't have much family, and this person is someone we consider a part of our chosen family. I don't want to believe otherwise.

Edit: I don't understand why I'm being down voted so much. What am I doing?

[u/Past_Ad4142 → u/allallalag]

People may be down voting because although you’re in a terrible situation, you are not entitled to moving into your friends house without paying anything upfront. Housing for you and your family is not their responsibility. No good deed goes unpunished and your friend and her husband are extending you and your family an opportunity, but you act as if they’re not. I wish you and your family well, but if I were your friend, I’d reconsider my offer just to maintain the relationship. Prior to her offering housing you thought she was like family? But now they’re requiring a deposit, you want to rethink that?? She’s offering your family a huge favor/opportunity and this is how you repay her kindness and generosity?

[u/allallalag → u/Past_Ad4142]

Have you read the comments on some of my posts?

When I created our fundraiser and typed up a description of our situation to post, I didn't say anything negative towards our friend or her husband, and I didn't think that their offer was unreasonable. We just needed some help to pay them, which I felt was fair

I actually explained that to a few people - that this is actually an amazing offer, a 3 bedroom house for a very reasonable price, and they're willing to hold it for us while we come up with the money. That's pretty incredible and without them, my family would most likely end up living in hotels for the next 5 years.

The response from Reddit has been overwhelming negative. You are actually the first person who seems reasonable about the situation.

I'm receiving messages saying things like "Why do you think it's anyone else's problem that you have bad friends? You should rethink who you have in your life." Or people telling me that my post is obviously made up and fake because no real friend would do this to someone. Look at the top comment on my post in the Columbus subreddit.. it begins alomg the lines od "how about your friend gives you a break?" and ends with "I'd love 5 grand about now too". Completely insensitive and beside the point.. and it has 30 upvotes while my reply explaining that they just want to keep things the same as they would for any other tenant is down voted so much it's hidden.

Another comment mentions "friends don't charge friends thousands of dollars for deposits". It's not just a few people who have this opinion.. it's every single person who has commented aside from you.

I love and appreciate our friend, and feel incredibly lucky that we have this opportunity. All of these comments and messages from people telling me that they are not real friends has just had me feeling like maybe I needed to reflect on the situation. Especially since every sinfle comment told me they were being horrible friends. I'm not in a good place mentally or emotionally, especially due to our current living situation. I'm incredibly depressed (diagnosed) and all of these comments and messages were really starting to get to me.

Vent ahead

I just want to get my family out of this cycle. I'm not trying to seem ungrateful to our friend and her husband. We're just working so damn hard, my wife and I only sleep a few hours per night, and we only eat our kids leftovers. I'm really not in a good state of mind to be told over and over that our friend, the only person trying to help us get out of this situation, is screwing us over. I'm exhausted and life has legitimately beaten me to the ground. I can't take many more days of watching my 2 year old daughter stand at the door of our tiny 10x12 room, begging "Play, please. Go play please" because she's been cooped up in this room for days, because I work from home and need to keep her in this room with me, because if I lose my job we'll be back to sleeping in the car. Or watching my wife cry her self to sleep after working a 12 hour shift.

Before falling asleep at night, I usually catch myself daydreaming about my 2 year old daughter being able to run around and play again, with the space to play, and even her own bedroom, finally able to be her awesome, kind, silly, playful self again. Finally able to be truly happy.

I want that for her so bad that sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. She deserves it so much.

Both of our children were planned, and my wife actually needed fertility treatments.. we spent months, years even, hoping and praying for them, to grow our family, before life fell apart. Back then, just a year ago even, I never could have imagined that we would be in this position.

I just need my family to be okay again and reddit has me feeling terrible. I'm sorry for venting to you like this. Your comment reminded me that I shouldn't be believing what all of these other comments and messages are saying about our friend. I'm not doing good, and I just want to feel like I can breathe again.

[u/Past_Ad4142 → u/allallalag]

Thank you for your response and I’m so very sorry that you and your family are in this situation. Yes, I did read a lot of responses on this post and others and when people started blaming your friends for not being more accommodating, I thought to myself, I wonder if these people have ever extended their home or rental home to someone in need and I bet not a one of them has.

What I have also gathered about you is that recently there’s been a lot of trauma in your life and you and your wife are doing all that you can to bring yourselves out of it. I’m positive it will all come together because you and your wife are putting everything you have into it. It’s only a matter of time and this will be a valley that you and your wife look back on when you’re enjoying the peak. God bless you and your family!

[u/Flinkle → u/allallalag]

People don't understand what it's like to get stuck in that cycle. Being poor is expensive, because there's so much predatory bullshit aimed at people just trying to survive. And it will take every dime you have to keep your head afloat.

And I don't know what it is with the down votes in here, but it's not you. Happens constantly on this sub. Some people have a cruel streak, I guess. I've just learned to ignore them. Most of the time, haha.

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