r/Assistance • u/Legitimate_Olive4333 • 19d ago
ADVICE My girlfriend spiraled into severe mental instability, psychosis and delusions. I need help what should I do? NSFW
So my girlfriend who I’ve been with a decent amount of time has begun to show psychosis and bipolar tendencies. It’s severe she has conversations with someone who ain’t there like full blown convoys. She’s constantly getting angry and tries to get violent. She cleans my apartment time after time even if it has already been cleaned. She is begging to get violent with me threatening to stab me. PLEASE HELP!!!!!
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u/SherbsSketches REGISTERED 19d ago
Call emergency services. I am bipolar, I would want my partner to get me emergency help if I were like this
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u/Glitchykins8 19d ago
The moment there is violence, it's out of your control and you need serious, medical, professional help.
My mother in law had some pretty bad psychosis 3 years ago. She's always been a bit unstable but something just flipped in her brain almost 4 years ago now. It progressed quickly but we didn't do much about it for a while because we didn't know what to do, this wasn't exactly unusual as, again, she was always a bit off, and we just didn't want to deal with it because even on her fine days she was never really... Kind.
But it got to a point where she started to harm herself and her pets. Not intentionally but because she honestly believes what she was doing was helping her situation.
She thought tiny bugs with tiny back packs with cameras were crawling into her body through her eyes, laying eggs and cameras inside her to spy on her, and then digging out through her skin to report back to... Whatever or whoever. Obviously, none of this is true or real. She started covering herself daily, multiple times with big sprays, spraying a towel with it and wrapping up her guinea pig because she wanted to keep the bugs off him.
All this is to say that I have experience personally with the wacky do that's out there. (Plus previous stuff from my friend as a kid and her mother who refused her bi polar meds and often chased her kid to my house with a knife so she lived with us for a long time)
You must get her to a facility who can handle her. I managed to have a doctor help convince my MiL to go to a psychiatric facility for blood tests when we actually intended to have her be put away there for a few weeks to safely figure out what was going on. All I had to do was sign legal documents with a judge who showed up to say that was allowing this, as a family member, facility to take her in and that I was not doing it as a joke or a means to be rid of her but as a patient who needed actual help.
Your girlfriend's illness is not going to magically go away and often the violent cases only become worse. Seek help now. The facility can get her meds, guidance, and safety that you can not guarantee. Tell the truth when asked if you fear for your self and others
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u/Legitimate_Olive4333 19d ago
Thank you so much, it’s just in Alberta it’s almost like they don’t give AF until something bad happens. But yes I will start calling around asap
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u/Key-Plantain2758 19d ago
I’m in Alberta. They will definitely put her on a psychiatric hold if she is in danger of harming herself or others.
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u/Careless_Bird_5624 REGISTERED 19d ago
You need to contact authorities and get her professional help there isn’t much we can say
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u/PixelMafiaXBL 19d ago
She needs to get professional help. If she refuses then, for your own safety you need to break up because no threat of violence should be swept under the rug.
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u/hipgcx 18d ago
Emergency room or calling 988 in the US is a lot safer (for her) than calling the police.
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u/DeeplyFlawed REGISTERED 18d ago
Definitely. It can be challenging because they may think they are fine. In the US, you can bypass the emergency room & call a mental health hospital & see if they have a bed available.
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u/inononeofthisisreal 19d ago
Call 211 and see if they can point you into the right direction. She is clearly a danger to herself and others if she’s threatening to stab you. If you’re able to record her in the moment (without her knowing as not to further antagonize her) to get proof do so.
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u/TheRealSugarbat 19d ago
You need to involve professionals if she’s threatening to hurt herself or you. What’s your location? Are you in the US?
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u/doctoralstudent1 19d ago
If she is a threat to herself or others, you need to contact authorities. She needs professional help.
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u/OnnieCorn 19d ago
Is this your first time being with her in that state? Please know that she can't control it and she is not herself, losing her sense of reality. She needs to go inpatient. Do what you can to make that happen. It's worrisome that she would get violent. I would call her family or anyone who is familiar with her episodes. If not, call any hospital with psychiatric care.
I have a family with bipolar, for me one of the things that should be looked out for even before the manic/psychosis symptoms comes out is the state of her sleep. If she had something like 1-2 hours of sleep or nothing at all, that's a big NO no and should've taken her medications. Do you know her daily medication intake? If you can somehow get her to take the pills, it would really help (assuming that she has stopped taking her medications).
In my family’s case, we didn't made her inpatient. We took care of her at home, making her take the medications as prescribed. The antipsychotics and mood stabilizers immediately helped her sleep and calmed her down a bit, but the delusions and psychotic symptoms are still present (They don't immediately go away). Getting more than 4 hours of sleep is a good and a big step to recovery. Bit by bit she's slowly comes back. Partially recovered by 2 weeks and fully functional in one month, with consistent medication intakes and check ups with the doctor. It takes a loooot of patience to handle this. It would really help to have support from families or friends, even from internet folks.
I really hope it all got sorted out by now.
r/family_of_bipolar, just dropping this here if you need it, this sub has really helped me feel less alone in dealing with bipolar.
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u/buzzybody21 19d ago
If she’s in danger of hurting herself or others, she needs emergent care. I know it’s impossible to make this decision (I’ve been in your girlfriend’s position in the past), but she needs help you can’t provide her. What you can do is get her to a place that will keep her safe, help her through this scary period, and help her get stabilized on meds and connected to services in the community. You can’t do this on your own, and it’s okay to bring her somewhere that can take over her care until you can again.
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u/redditette REGISTERED 18d ago
A lot of drugs used recreationally will exacerbate mental illness in people that already are prone to those ailments If she uses recreationally, you make her stop.
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u/smeeti 19d ago
Call an ambulance when she is psychotic and they will get her hospitalized
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u/Great_Dependent9031 19d ago
Do NOT get an ambulance unless you have $5,000. You need to check her into a rehabilitation center.
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u/Dangerous_Mud42 18d ago
Call the police when it happens again (like violent threats) psychosis is no joke and she could actually do it
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18d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Practical_Walrus2616 18d ago
I don’t hate cops but I wouldn’t call the cops if she’s having a mental break down like that because of the likely hood of her acting a fool (getting out something that can be used as a weapon or charging towards cops) especially in psychosis. best they could do is tase her, but I won’t lie, some MIGHT shoot.
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u/HamHockShortDock REGISTERED 18d ago
I called the crisis line on myself and they sent a cop who reached for his gun when I opened the door. I was suicidal enough that, for just a split second, I thought about charging him.
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u/krba201076 REGISTERED 18d ago
They aren't qualified to handle mental health situations. Their job is to enforce the law (no matter if the law is just or not)...no more and no less...not to protect you, not to help the sick (that includes mentally sick) none of that. If she goes charging at them or waving around a phone or fork or something that they say they "thought" was a weapon, they might take her out. And OP and the lady's family won't have much recourse because the police protect their own. It's a huge good ol' boy network.
I personally wouldn't summon the police on someone unless I am okay with them dying. If someone is stalking me, I have no problem summoning the cops because I don't care if the stalker gets killed or not...stalkers certainly don't care about what women want or their quality of life so it is what it is. But OP seems to care about this lady which is why I agree with you...no cops!
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u/Practical_Walrus2616 18d ago
So from my own experience I really don’t recommend the cops, now if I would’ve raised that blade or tried something silly I would’ve be shot multiple times due to being a danger to myself and them, and they are told to neutralize the threat..
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u/Practical_Walrus2616 18d ago
I agree with you as well, I had a moment where I was in an episode and actively self harming as the cops walked in, I ran into the bathroom and locked the door, they gave me multiple warning and ended up breaking the door down as I had my blade in my hand, they reached for their weapon and told me to drop it. I did but at the time my mother called the cops and I was only 14! they then put me in handcuffs.
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u/Practical_Walrus2616 18d ago edited 18d ago
They usual get someone on site who is qualified.
Edit: in my experience the Ambulance and police would both show up, I did have the cops called on me MULTIPLE times as a teenager due to mental health episodes etc, both would come in. And they would have someone talk to me to figure out the problem. so I guess they usually don’t have someone on site all the time but from my own experiences they did.
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u/AutopsyPanda REGISTERED 19d ago
Get her help She most likely doesn't know what is going on. She's probably scared and doesn't know what to do. She is most likely confused or she is having a medical episode of some sort. I started talking to people when I started Paxil... Auditory hallucinations are crazy but I was still with it enough to realize I was talking to absolutely no one
But in the end whether you want to stay with her or not she needs help. If you don't want to help her then find someone that will. Her parents some other friends the police or get her taken in on a 5150 hold. So eh can be evaluated over 3 days where they figure out what is wrong and can figure out what direction she needs to go. I pray for you and I pray for her and know that she needs help and you might need some help/therapy to work thru the emotions she is envoking in you. Maybe not but it's worth looking into. Best wishes...
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u/bileopard 17d ago
if you are able to do so safely drive her to the hospital and have her admitted. if she refuses, or if you can’t trust that you’ll both be safe in a car together to get to the hospital, look up community mental health services in your city. some places have folks available 24/7 who can help with transporting her to the hospital if the situation is dire enough. calling the police should be the very last resort as it can often be traumatizing and even dangerous to do so (live laugh love america). if you have a therapist, ask them what you think is best to do. if your gf has a therapist or psychiatrist informing them of her hospitalization is important too. i wish you the best! i know this must be scary and confusing, i hope things get better for the both of you.
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u/DekaFate 19d ago
If break up isn’t an option she needs helps. But man your putting yourself in danger.
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u/InfiniteMania1093 REGISTERED 19d ago
Dude, what is Reddit supposed to do in this situation? CALL EMERGENCY SERVICES! she clearly needs to be assessed and likely medicated.
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u/Paramore96 REGISTERED 19d ago
Maybe try being kind. It’s not always cut and dry when it comes to people we love. We hear horror stories about people going in for mental health services and being treated terribly. We see people on the news that reach out to the police for help and someone ends up unalived. While it’s easy for an outsider to just say call police call emergency services, it’s not always easy to do that.
So maybe think before speaking and use some kindness and compassion. This would is cold and cruel and they reached out to us for advice.
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u/Waste_Slice6895 18d ago
Agreed. This person came here because they were truly lost on what to do and was asking advice on the best way to take action. No need to kick someone while they’re already down
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u/Conscious_Rule_308 17d ago
Call 911 and get an ambulance to transport her to an ER. I was a paramedic for 15 years and think you need to do this before her condition ruins both your lives. Don’t try to bring her by yourself.
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u/Status-Effort-9380 REGISTERED 19d ago
There’s a process for an admission against the will of the person. Usually it involves calling the police while they are clearly I’ll. If you have a therapist, ask them the process in your state. You could also try calling a help line for this information.
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u/Great_Dependent9031 19d ago
Do NOT call the police this could put her in a very scared and violent state.. I’ve seen it too many times when cops come and end up beating and or killing a mentally ill person. Get her in your car make sure there’s nothing that could hurt you and drive her to a rehabilitation facility you will have to wait as most of these places take 7 hours to get admitted sometimes even longer but she will get the help she needs and they typically bill you after you leave. Calling the police could get her a charge she won’t remember and could risk her being put in a jails mental institution which is the absolute worst thing you could to someone who is in this state. Don’t call an ambulance either I was billed $7000 for an ambulance that drove me 3 miles to the hospital for having a seizure. NOT WORTH IT. If money is the issue with the mental institution DRIVE her to the hospital they will admit her to the mentally ill section of the hospital and then they will force you into a rehabilitation and you will be billed after
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u/ThrowRaTiff REGISTERED 19d ago
Yeah I agree do not call the police that will only escalate the situation
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u/Status-Effort-9380 REGISTERED 19d ago
If she will go willingly. I’ve been involved in admissions. It’s not great but got people the care they need. In NY they had a separate team from the actual cops that handled the psych cases. It’s different in every state. That’s why I suggested calling to find out the process.
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u/Legitimate_Olive4333 19d ago
This is Alberta, they will not do anything I already tried calling them.
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u/Apollo1366 REGISTERED 19d ago
Have you made sure to report that she is making violent threats against you?
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u/raeshere 18d ago
It looks like you can call 211 there for help finding services. In California there are psychological assessment teams that will come to you to help with this. They will be there if involuntary hold happens and police will be called to transfer her to hospital. This is in California. But you may have similar.
The key is to have her evaluated by professional mental health workers, not police, not regular hospital. They might not help enough in the best way.
If you two are in your mid 20s, this could be schizophrenia too—or bipolar like others mentioned. A lot of mental illness can kick in around this age. If she’s talking about violence it’s time to take action. She needs help now and so do you. When you find out more, you ca learn more too. Hang in there and good luck.
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