r/Assistance Nov 12 '24

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT Please can anyone cheer me up I'm so desperate

I have been fighting my emotions but I can't control it anymore. Life has been cruel to me. I have been working hard and was rewarded with the most horrible gift. I just want someone to encourage me to ease me up I'm so desperate. I have been going on and off on my emotional stability and I'm afraid of losing my consciousness permanently. I have a cancer and my condition is getting worse. I just don't know what I should do. Fear is making me sleep less and overthink more that I have to endure future unbearable pain.

I just don't know how am I supposed to live my life like this and why did this happen to me. I never smoked nor drink a sip of alcohol. I was doing nothing sort of bad habit or taking any unhealthy diets. WHY ME???

51 Upvotes

54 comments sorted by

u/AssistanceMods Nov 12 '24

Hi all. This is an automated and general reminder to all that this post is an EMOTIONAL ASSISTANCE post, not a Request. Please don't request, offer or accept financial or material assistance on this post. Thank you and good luck!

u/gigasoryu, if you're in emotional distress, you can find lots of more targeted subreddits and resources in this list.

I'm a bot. This comment was posted automatically.

8

u/Maleficent-Music6965 REGISTERED Nov 12 '24

Ask your oncologist for a recommendation for a therapist. You are dealing with a lot and mental health issues are not to be ignored. Make a therapist part of your treatment team.

0

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

I wish I could but the therapist are extremely expensive

0

u/Repulsive-Zone8176 Nov 13 '24

The greatest therapist the world has ever known is only a prayer away. His name is Jesus and I hope you find him

6

u/Jonistar76 REGISTERED Nov 12 '24

The American Cancer Society has a lot of resources, I’d recommend reaching out to them.

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

But thank you

0

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

I'm not in America there is no option for me

3

u/N8sWife Nov 12 '24

There are likely online groups you can join.. even if you aren’t in America. When my medical issues had me bedridden I found several really helpful support groups on FB, believe it or not! I’m sorry you are going through it. Just try to keep your head up and stay positive…. And I’d definitely look into FB groups… just having people I could relate to, who understood my problems was a huge relief and increased my overall sense of wellbeing. Hugs to you OP. 🫶

1

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

I have been talking to some people but I can also feel their fear that's what's make me feel more scared of opening up to support groups

1

u/N8sWife Nov 14 '24

Maybe try reaching out to cancer survivors as well? And they can inspire hope?

8

u/AllyWatermelly Nov 12 '24

I’m so sorry you're feeling this way, and I wish I could take some of that weight off your shoulders. What you’re going through is incredibly difficult, and it’s understandable to feel so overwhelmed. You’ve done nothing wrong to deserve this. It's unfair, and it’s natural to question why. Life sometimes throws challenges at people who don’t deserve it, and cancer is one of the most challenging battles there is.

This road may feel dark, but you're facing it with a strength not everyone could summon. Take things one day at a time, lean on others, and remember that you don’t have to carry all of this by yourself. And if you ever want to talk, even if just to let out some of those overwhelming thoughts, I’m here ❤️

3

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

Thank you

6

u/TASKFORCE-PLUMBER1 REGISTERED Nov 12 '24

I’m very sorry you’re down on your luck. I truly hope you have your spirits lifted up. U are stronger than u think and loved more than u know . Please cheer up friend only you can control how YOU FEEL. This past hear both my parents died 3 months apart and I was in a terrible car accident and my wife just had life saving surgery last week and I had a gun to my head literally a couple months back but believe it or not just when I built up the fortitude to pull the trigger my hand cramped up so bad I dropped the gun on the floor . I believe it was divine intervention because I saved 2 peoples life’s since then . (I live in west phila a pretty bad neighborhood hood and both were overdosed about a month apart . I did cpr until someone came with narcan a volunteer no less . No I never shared that story but the point is hang in there u never know what life will bring you

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

Thank you so much and I'm also sorry for what you've gone through I've been contemplating for week after diagnosis I can't think rationally these days and I just want to end it before my suffering but I'm also desperate to survive but my chances are slim so it just I just don't know what to do

2

u/TASKFORCE-PLUMBER1 REGISTERED Nov 12 '24

Just go with it and see what it brings - now sure the pain is a fear factor however there are some great physicians (not mall doctors) but actual medicine professionals that can treat this very well with minimal suffering . I know im just a stranger but please don’t think about suicide it ended up making my mental health so much worse

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

I'm lost

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u/TASKFORCE-PLUMBER1 REGISTERED Nov 12 '24

There’s this rock song idk if ur into rock but it’s called Love and death- by the way . Listen to lyrics

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 12 '24

Thank you for the suggestion

7

u/mkmoore72 Nov 13 '24

The only thing that helped me get through a life altering diagnosis was taking it 1 minute at a time. I literally would say for 1 minute I am going to breathe and be ok then for 1 minute I am going to do nothing but think of favorite memories i also walked alot. I would force myself to find a place with either beautiful natural things to look at and focus on how many different flowers or different birds or even sounds. Anything to keep my focus on my surroundings not what I was dealing with. Or I even went to a busy place and watched people. I would count how many different brands of sneakers I saw or how many people were actually not on phone in any way while they walked. Just things to keep mind elsewhere. It took awhile but eventually I noticed my periods I wanted to curl up and quit fighting were fewer and fewer. You have been dealt a crap hand but do not let it define you as a person. Tell yourself you are worth fighting for. Good luck. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am here if you need to talk anytime

5

u/meditation_account REGISTERED Nov 12 '24

Cancer has a lot of support groups so you can talk to other people about how you are feeling. Ask your doctor for local resources and support groups in your area.

5

u/VegebulMelodies Nov 13 '24

I’m not sure if it helps, but sometimes all I can do to keep going is take things a breath at a time. Not a minute, not a day, just a breath.

You’ve got this mess. But you just need a breath right now.

4

u/NaturallyOld1 Nov 13 '24

What I discovered when I received a horrible diagnosis was that saying “why me” made me feel worse. I finally realized that the truth was, “why not me?” People get horrible illnesses when they’ve done absolutely nothing to cause it, it’s not a punishment for a sin. Babies are sometimes born with cancer. By letting go of this idea, I began to see hope for my situation. It made me stop feeling like a hopeless victim.

5

u/Cherylmayi REGISTERED Nov 13 '24

They don’t have support groups at all at no charge love? Im beyond sorry you are walking this road and feel you are alone. So many people are reaching out to you, if even on the phone or FaceTime. Accept all support. I can’t imagine being in your shoes and I send my love and prayers

4

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '24

[deleted]

1

u/gigasoryu Nov 13 '24

How much was the total cost for the treatment overall

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '24 edited Nov 13 '24

[deleted]

1

u/gigasoryu Nov 13 '24 edited 12d ago

Then for my situation there's no hope. I've got no insurance plus I've never reach 20k ever in my life.

3

u/xobassdino Nov 13 '24

I feel the exact same. You are not alone in this. I’ve been in excruciating pain since 6 years old and feel like I’m hanging onto life by a string. Feel free to reach out any time.

2

u/Mostenbockers Nov 12 '24

I highly recommend Being Mortal by Atul Gawande

2

u/Impossible_Zer0 Nov 12 '24

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to worry. Think of it this way; is stressing over the awful hand you’ve been dealt going to make the outcome change? Probably not. Is it going to make that burden any lighter? Probably not. But it’ll probably make it all the more suffocating.

Try to find whatever silver lining you may be able to. Enjoy the little things, because that’s what matters. People will marvel at the beach but not even notice the tiny grain of sand, which is what comprises that shoreline they like so much. If you can’t find those tiny pieces of joy, you’ll never be able to appreciate the bigger picture, whatever that may be. The bigger picture also isn’t everything.

Try to stay positive, in whatever ways that may entail. Be proud of yourself that life had to throw you one more curve ball because you stayed strong enough to fall into so many vices, even despite what it threw at you before.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '24

I'm so sorry 😞 😔 😟

2

u/Kind-Ad9629 REGISTERED Nov 13 '24

Depression sucks badly. I deal with Depression also. My family doesn't help at all. I like to help people out myself. Even if it's just talking. So if you ever need someone to talk to I'm always willing to help

2

u/Kylie2300 Nov 13 '24

Message me I hope it gets better

2

u/DeeplyFlawed REGISTERED Nov 13 '24

[[[[HUGS]]]]]

2

u/Glythlablood Nov 13 '24

my discord is hayththemeowmeow if you wana friend hit me up i dont have anyone irl just online

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 13 '24

I'm sorry I don't have discord account

1

u/Glythlablood Nov 14 '24

ok, may i ask why tho?

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 14 '24

I don't use it

1

u/Glythlablood Nov 14 '24

hmm dono what then i dont do whatsap or hangouts i do facebook messager

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u/gigasoryu Nov 14 '24

Yea i have an old fb account

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u/Glythlablood Nov 14 '24

cool what your facebook if you wana talk or chat that is

1

u/gigasoryu Nov 14 '24

I find much more comfortable here in reddit than facebook

2

u/No_Cheesecake5825 Nov 14 '24

I know what you're going through! I've lost my parents to suicide, my sibling in an accident, and just recently lost my job. But I can still smile! And do you know why? Because I kept searching until I found what truly makes me happy. I wish for you to find it too!

1

u/Reasonable-Shop-9789 Nov 13 '24

God, I can't imagine how you feel. Your grief and pain are so valid. I can't provide much advice, but I can show you my cat and I hope she makes you smile. Her name is Taffy <3

she's so funny looking. Lean on your family and friends, find a support group in your area, and hopefully you can find a therapist to help you through this. You are valid.

1

u/OxygenDistributor Nov 13 '24

I don't think there's anything I can really say to help. Just that I hope things do get better for you.

1

u/TodaysOpinion Nov 13 '24

Is there anything that you can do to take your mind of things? A scary movie or complicated music a difficult game or puzzle? Meditation or breathing exercises? More sleep? Getting out of our brains is so hard.

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 13 '24

Nothing I've been doing everything that I can do but I find no peace in anything. Haven't eaten properly and lost a ton of weight

2

u/Livid-Rutabaga Nov 13 '24

OP, I'm sorry you are going through this, it's an awful disease. Are you in medical treatment? have you spoken to your Dr. about this? I am thinking maybe you would benefit from a prescription to calm your nerves and help you get through the day.

2

u/gigasoryu Nov 13 '24

I did talk to the doctor however the treatment is too expensive so I declined. I'm taking some pills to alleviate the pain and other medications.

1

u/Livid-Rutabaga Nov 14 '24

I am very sorry that you had to make that choice.

1

u/AbleDragonfruit4767 Nov 15 '24

Do you have zoom online support group helped me so much when I was feeling like you and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing that because it really is suffocating. I went to whatever was available and shared. I felt to much better and even kept my camera off , and still am glad I opened up. It’s tough out here for sure you sound like a great Individual 🫂❤️

0

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '24 edited Nov 13 '24

[deleted]

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u/gigasoryu Nov 13 '24

Ummmm......