AIO for thinking my boyfriend does not care about my feelings?

[u/Muted-Gur9783]

Throwaway because he uses Reddit.

My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) are reaching the end of our relationship. I can see that we clash a lot as individuals and I have told him this multiple times, but he insists on trying to fix things. I've tried to get better at communicating my feelings because it has always been hard for me (childhood issues), so I don't know if I handled this situation properly.

Yesterday, my boyfriend was acting cold towards me. When I asked why, he said we need to talk. I get really anxious about texts like that and I've told him before. I asked a few questions about it and got no response, so I called him after a few hours. I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about and he said he'll talk to me after he drops by his family's house (this would take at least 3-4 hours), so I asked if I upset him. He said I didn't upset him, so I asked what the topic was. He said he doesn't have time to explain, even though he had at least 15-20 minutes free. I explained that I was feeling anxious about it and, although we could wait to have the conversation, I'd appreciate it if he could just tell me the topic. I didn't need a long summary, just something short (for example, "my family", "my work"). Again, he said no. I said he knows that this is making me feel anxious and his refusal to even tell me the topic to alleviate that anxiety proves that he does not care about how I feel. He told me to just wait until he's finished with his family (he hadn't arrived at their house yet, though), but I said it would have taken ten seconds to tell me the topic and I didn't want to have the conversation if he doesn't care about how I'm feeling in this moment. He said okay and hung up. He'll probably ignore me and then text or call randomly in the next few days, but I don't think I'll answer anymore.

Little situations like this happen a lot and I've noticed and been told by people close to both of us that he has a problem with gaslighting, over-exaggerating things, promising things and then finding excuses not to deliver, etc. I feel like he deliberately used the words "we need to talk" to make me anxious, especially since he stopped replying immediately after and refused to even tell me what it was about, but I don't know if I'm overthinking. A part of me feels like I worded my feelings wrong, but another part of me recognizes that I tried to communicate, so I'm still proud of myself. I know the relationship is coming to a close, but I just want to know if I'm overreacting.

[u/TrentonMarquard]

He’s an asshole

[u/fanofthethings]

In case you need to hear this:

You don’t need his permission to break up. He doesn’t have to agree. You don’t owe him an explanation. You’re not obligated to give it another shot. You’re not responsible for his happiness.

You can do this. Find someone you can brag about.

[u/dazzlingfairykiss]

If he keeps ignoring how you feel or brushes off your attempts to work through things, it’s natural to feel like he’s not prioritizing you.