r/AmIOverreacting • u/OkMention2960 • 1d ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO for not getting a thank you?

My son is out of school for 2 weeks for the holidays. My ex and I both work full-time,but he always insists he can't shift his schedule to help with childcare for school breaks. Knowing this, I planned ahead with my son's grandma/ex's mom to make sure my kiddo had childcare for the break.

My ex finally asked what the plan for childcare was over the past 3 days. I did include him in all texts with his mom, so this info is available to him.

I explained how I had rearranged my schedule and worked with his mom to make sure our son is cared for. He had minimal reaction, just acknowledged the plan.

Am I overreacting for being annoyed that my ex didn't at least thank me? I'm working on figuring out a way to make my ex take on more without harming my son and/or causing more stress than just planning things myself would cause. I would ask my ex to sit down and help me, but it's the same thing - I get pushed off and eventually forgotten about because my ex is 'too busy'.

3 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

2

u/fanofthethings 1d ago

I think we might be seeing why he’s an ex.

He should be pulling his weight, but expecting him to say thank you is probably setting yourself up for disappointment. Maybe he should, but he sounds too self-absorbed.

2

u/OkMention2960 1d ago

Oh, absolutely! The selfishness came out in many forms - cheating/sex addiction was the worst manifestation - but once I realized it wasn't going to change, I was DONE.

1

u/fanofthethings 1d ago

Do you have a custody agreement?

1

u/OkMention2960 1d ago

We do, but our divorce isn't finalized yet. We're supposed to be 50/50.

2

u/fanofthethings 1d ago

Hang in there. Once it’s official, he’s legally obligated to pull his weight.

3

u/OkMention2960 1d ago

That's good to know! He's supposed to be switching to something less intense after this year (he's currently in a pharmacy residency program) so that he can have more time with our son. I hope that's true. Right now, my son's grandma is my actual coparent, and she's only slightly more reliable than her son 😬

1

u/Legitimate-Night2408 1d ago

You can be annoyed but honestly there's not really a point in feeling all of this negativity because at the end of the day your ex is putting himself and his schedule first this is who he is so the best thing now is to realise and plan accordingly otherwise you're gonna waste more time/energy in getting upset and he's not bothered whether you are or aren't.

If it continues and it reaches a point where it's too much then I would seek a custody order and if he violates it take him to court.

1

u/dazzlingfairykiss 1d ago

It’s frustrating when you put in all the effort and don’t even get a simple “thank you.” It’s hard being the one who always has to step up, especially when the other parent isn’t pulling their weight.