r/AmIOverreacting • u/JCook1700 • 1d ago
👨👩👧👦family/in-laws AIO: I completely shut my mother and her family out.
I’ll try to keep this short. 6 months ago my half brother and I got into a little physical altercation.
He has consistently bad mouthed my wife, stolen our belongings (her school laptop, my gaming headset) has no regard for anyone else other than him and has a real punk like attitude.
With that being said, 6 months ago I got real tired of it and shoved him a few times out of rage and my mother found out and had me arrested and I’m currently on probation.
Growing up, she has prioritized her new family over me all of the time. She re-married had other kids and left me on the back burner as the only child from her and my father.
All of those feelings from my childhood as well as her having me arrested without just talking to me has led me to completely cut off all contact between her family and myself. She hasn’t seen or talked to us or my kids since.
Fast forward to Christmas this year. Myself, my wife and our kids were having Christmas with my parent in-laws and they were trying to talk me into connecting with my mother again and I can’t bring myself to do so.
Am I overreacting about this?
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u/OpinionatedPoster 1d ago
Just stick to your decision and don't reach out. Believe me they haven't changed. Do not let you and your family go through the same pain again. Tell your in laws that this is a decision that will not change and you don't want to talk about it.
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u/JCook1700 1d ago
My thoughts exactly. As I mentioned, I’ve had problems with her since I was a young boy. I’m almost 27 now still dealing with the drama with her.
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u/OpinionatedPoster 1d ago
Try and move on from the drama, look at the rest of the world, especially your family, wife, kids, in-laws, they are the King of people you belong to.
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u/sparklingmoonpearl 1d ago
It’s understandable why you feel hurt and betrayed, especially with how things unfolded with your mother and brother. You’re not overreacting for needing space to process everything, but reconnecting is a deeply personal decision that only you can make when you’re ready.
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u/QuietPerformer160 1d ago
Trust your gut. I see what your in laws are trying to do and it’s obvious they care and want the best for you. But it’s hard for people to understand a toxic family if they have no frame of reference in their own lives. I’ve been through this. It’s bringing out the worst in you and it’s jeopardizing your freedom and stability. Protect your wife from your family. I’m in a similar boat.
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u/peachesplumsmfer 1d ago
NOR.
You should not have gotten physical. Your mother is not responsible for your actions.
But she is responsible for her poor parenting and codependency.
If you can’t have a healthy relationship, or even work towards a healthy relationship, then no contact is a really good thing for you. Take care of you.