AIO my parents bought me a house I don’t want

[u/Salt-Tour-2736]

It’s been a rough year. I finished college in 2023, wanted to do grad school, but moved back home at my mom’s insistence. Immediately got entangled into my toxic family and remembered why I left.

Came home to my shitty drug addicted brothers and despot father running the house, my mom running ragged raising her grandkids and trying to hold it together. I pushed my older brothers into rehab, one after the other.

Then my parents bought each of them houses to live and run as elderly board and care (family business).

Then my dad cheated on my mom and she kicked him out. The family dynamic drastically changed. I had to spend months holding her together, holding the house together, working on getting their newest facility up and running while both of them were going insane. After almost a year, she started getting back to normal, and they decided to work things out. Theyre back together but just as toxic. Whatever dude.

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to get my shit together. I moved out, I’m applying for grad school, trying to get my ass as far away from this bullshit as possible.

My mom is insisting that I don’t go. Her and my dad just bought a fucking house and say it’s my house. The key was in my stocking as my gift from Santa. They have a five year plan, for me to live down the street from my fuck ass brothers and run my own facility in the family business. It’s freaking me out.

Am I being fucking stupid? I feel like my future is being suffocated out, my mom gets in my ear and tells me I wont make it through grad school, I’m too mentally ill for a normal job, they’re doing this to help me, why do I have to take it as a bad thing, I can make so much money, I can have freedom and success like no one else my age, why do I wanna stick to my peers when they’re going nowhere. I tried working with them this past year and it’s so fucking awful and I’m barely making enough to cover rent, I’m literally on EBT and Medi-Cal, so IDEK what they’re saying about money when I’m scraping by working for them as is. The stipulation working for them is I have to live on site to run the elderly facility, while they get 1/2 the profit. Fair enough but it’s not a free and clear house, and it’s not mine, it’s a job and a place to live, and a lifetime commitment. I didn’t buy it, it’s not under my name, I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t plan for it, they just sprung it on me acting like I’m supposed to be happy when it’s not even “mine”, it’s just another expansion to their business.

I’m only 24. I told them today to stop calling it my house and my mom was butthurt. Am I crazy for not wanting this house?

[u/Savings_Ad3556]

Your family sounds toxic. They are trying to shackle you with a house as a means of control. You need to move out and NOT KEEP allowing these people to have control over you.

You have choice and abusive people HATE when you flat out refuse to give them your autonomy.

[u/Global-Fact7752]

Leave ! Go on with your plans and don't look back..they are manipulating you trying to get you to stay...If it's truly your house you can take it over after they kick the bucket. I have a home paid for and I put it in my daughters name to make it easy after I'm gone..but she doesn't live here. No one can put a mortgage in your name without your permission..consult a realtor..mortgage broker..or attorney...Nobody can buy a house and stick you with the payment...Do not sign Anything!

[u/heyclau]

NOR and you're also not crazy for wanting a life far from people that keep bringing you down.

I feel like you proved yourself by helping your mother stand on her feet again on top of everything else. I also feel like your mother is trying to convinve you to want a life that will make it easier for her. Remember your own experience there, do you really believe you could thrive in that environment?

Do what YOU want to do. You're young, you can fail and try again. And once you're stable in life, you can help them from afar. But take care of YOU first.

[u/UDownWith_ICB]

Complete your education and then make a decision when you reach your goal. Let your parents know this is your decision to make. You can do it and will figure it out on your own on your terms, don’t let them control you any more you are an adult.

[u/cheerfulpoppywish]

It’s okay to want your own path and not feel pressured into their vision for your future, especially when it doesn’t align with your goals.

[u/Appropriate-Echo3750]

NOR. Sounds like they’re escalating as you get closer to leaving. Stick to your plans and get out of there

[u/Wisteria0022]

It’s a trap. The house isn’t yours. You’re just working for them