r/AfterTheRevolution • u/xSPYXEx Big Jim's Hangin Hog • Jun 16 '21

Chapter 7, Manny on the run

https://atrbook.com/chapter-7/
19 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

14

u/EvidenceOfReason Jun 16 '21

Im assuming Topaz is the woman from Rolands memories?

15

u/renesys Fuckian Jun 16 '21

The teeth kind of give it away.

0

u/EvidenceOfReason Jun 16 '21

yea... about that.. i think i just found the first example of lazy writing on Robert's part

I feel like it would have been better to introduce those characters without making it immediately obvious the woman was the one from Rolands memories.. like maybe the next time they are in the story, at THAT point Manny notices the teeth..

this feels a little too mary sue for me

15

u/pjdog Jun 16 '21

I hear skullfucker mike is a bear of a man.

19

u/EvidenceOfReason Jun 16 '21

"skullfucker Mike looked at Topaz, at the glint of sunlight reflected from her damascus maw, and hefted his hammer in anticipation. Their eyes met, they recognized in each other the muted glee they each felt at the prospect of the coming battle.. and almost in unison said to each other:

take a bullet for you babe..."

4

u/Gooey2113 Jun 17 '21

A for effort but, I'm pretty sure, this should be a single sentence, with far more commas.

4

u/EvidenceOfReason Jun 17 '21

i was trying to figure out how to get an em-dash in there... but i guess im just not the same caliber of write as ol' Benchy

3

u/Gooey2113 Jun 17 '21

And for that you should be proud!

11

u/xSPYXEx Big Jim's Hangin Hog Jun 16 '21

I have two thoughts on the situation

A) It isn't a very long book, we know there's 23 chapters and most of them have been 8-12 pages long. That's around 200 pages, and he's doing right to keep it all self contained and cleaning up dangling threads

2) IDK a mouth full of Damascus steel teeth is pretty noticable. We still don't know anything about her, just that Roland knows her well. I much prefer wondering how they're going to cross paths rather than stringing it along and trying to make some grand reveal down the line after hiding the obvious evidence for half the story.

6

u/EvidenceOfReason Jun 16 '21

simply not having her smile or show her teeth so that the very first description of her doesnt give away her identity would have been a little treat for when he finally notices, could even have been when she asked for whiskey..

just felt a little rushed that the very first description of her had me going "oh I know who this person is"

your points are good though

7

u/leoperd_2_ace Jun 17 '21

Well it is obviously a Chekhov’s gun situation and she has been mentioned twice in Roland chapters so this is the 3rd instance so it is also following the rule of 3 so he is following the basics of creative writing tropes. it is an extremely noticeable feature even for a post-human so holding off on it would have been difficult. Possibly had a scarf covering her mouth so her teeth don’t give her away. But we haven’t seen any post human try to hide any of their distinctive features, they seem to be things they are particularly proud of.

2

u/renesys Fuckian Jun 17 '21

I believe she was up in a tree, so noticing her teeth were Damascus steel is almost weirder than not noticing despite them not being covered. Unless it was a very short tree.

2

u/leoperd_2_ace Jun 17 '21

You don’t need to be very high up in a tree to get clear of the underbrush, plus she is post human as we have seen with Roland they can move stupidly fast, so even if she had been up higher to take the shot she could have easily climbed down in the time it took for many to find Reggie. And given she was handed the flask by mike she couldn’t have been more than 6-10 feet off the ground.

2

u/renesys Fuckian Jun 17 '21

She was still "hunkered up in the branches" when he noticed, well before the whiskey handoff. But it mentions her teeth were shiny so maybe it was something with the light. Shrug.

11

u/xSPYXEx Big Jim's Hangin Hog Jun 16 '21

I thought for sure Big Jim and his Hangin Hog would be my favorite character of the book, but now I'm definitely leaning towards Skullfucker Mike and his giant hammer (and also the sledgehammer he carries).

11

u/The-Rarest-Pepe Don't Have To Explain Shit Pipe Jun 16 '21

Honestly I want a spin-off book that's just Topaz and Skullfucker Mike

9

u/theamosanan Jun 16 '21

Hearing Robert read Skullfucker Mike in his nonchalant tone almost made me hits something in my car because I uncontrollably burst in to laughter so fast...

9

u/Andrea_D Jun 17 '21

Skullfucker Mike is Robert's self-insert character.

5

u/renesys Fuckian Jun 17 '21

Basically every character is Robert except Sasha.

5

u/jpw111 Manny Jun 21 '21

Sasha is young conservative debate squad Robert.

2

u/renesys Fuckian Jun 21 '21

Do you think Robert squeeked when surprised?

2

u/jpw111 Manny Jun 23 '21

Almost certainly

4

u/Gooey2113 Jun 17 '21

He's Robert's Bret Hawthorne.

2

u/El17ROK Jun 17 '21

Now I always catch the audiobooks when they come out, but I think the sub-title on these posts might be a bit of a spoiler for readers.

1

u/blessedkarl Jun 16 '21

aw man, should've called this chapter "Running Manny" like the Stephen King novel.